Falcon Crest

Fabulous Jane Wyman donned a grey wig for the Vintage Years - the pilot of Falcon Crest - in 1981, but got rid of it for the series.

It always sounds really snobbish when you name something you like that is mass popular, and the person you are speaking to says: 'Oh, really? I prefer...' - and names something obscure.

But I'm afraid that's genuinely how I am about the big 1980s-era American soaps. Dallas? Nope. Dynasty? Nope. Knots Landing? Nope.

I'm a dedicated Falcon Crest man.

Now, in England, Falcon Crest, or 'Falky' as I fondly nicknamed it, was often broadcast on ITV regional stations in grotty afternoon slots, or at Sunday teatime - sometime naff. But, as a shift worker, I managed to sink a basinful of it and loved it.

I suppose it all began with an idea for a series pilot possibly set in America and France, or a series pilot called The Barclays, about an American urban family moving from New York to small town Kentucky or...

Series creator Earl Hamner jr, who had given us that loving 1930s family The Waltons (Spencer's Mountain with plenty of tears but without the grit), was just finishing work on that series when the idea for a try-out pilot came his way, and it took a lot of thinking out.

Filming of a drama called The Vintage Years took place in the spring of 1981. This was the pilot for what would become Falcon Crest and featured some of the ingredients - including the location, the Spring Mountain Winery in California's Napa Valley, which would be the location for Falcon Crest.

It also featured Jane Wyman as Angela Channing, the leading Mrs Nasty of Falcon Crest, in a grey wig - which Miss Wyman hated!

It was a tale of vineyards and a family divided, very much as the series would be, but it wasn't the finished product by any means.

As it was never screened, I never saw it - but I believe it's now available online.

Changes were made to cast and characters - and Jane Wyman pushed for changes to Angela.

'She's very much a 1981 kind of lady,' she said just before Falky's American debut in December 1981.

My goodness, she was. English TV critic Hilary Kingsley described her in 1988 as 'rotten to the pips', but there was more to Angela than that. Her main problem, as her daughter Emma pointed out, was that she loved the land more than she loved her family. And was prepared to use any trick in the book to keep it.

Angela's role as Queen Bee of the fictional Tuscany Valley took a severe knock when her nephew, Chase Gioberti, arrived in the early 1980s to claim his inheritance. Don't worry. She was up to the fight.

Had Miss Wyman been cast because of her ex-husband, Ronald Reagan's, recent elevation (in November 1980) to US President?  Jane Wyman said she had not. Rumours were later circulated that she had been offered a role in the future Earl Hamner production before the pilot was even in the pre-production planning stages (highly unlikely) and that she had banned mention of Ronald Reagan on the Falcon Crest set!

It all added to the interest - and Jane Wyman was quite capable of holding the viewer's interest long after the fascination of seeing Ronnie's ex-wife had faded.

What really attracted me to the show was its delicious sense of humour.

Hapless greedy and lustful Melissa Agretti telling her 'loving' husband Lance Cumson: 'Your whole family's weird. Your mother murdered my father...' for instance.

The characters actually stood back at times and saw the absurdity of the soapy plots.

It could be very droll - as Melissa said to Angela:

'Don't worry, Angela, I'll still be available for family occasions - weddings, funerals, and, of course, the occasional shooting.'

Ana Alicia was fabulous as 'that fiesty Melissa Agretti' - as Angela once called her.

It had all the prime time soap ingredients, of course, but I also thought it had more atmosphere and depth.

Angela's daughters, Emma and Julia, for instance - driven mad over a period of many years by their oppressive mother - and this madness manifesting itself in quite different ways. 

One of the scenes which cemented the series in my affections was at the end of season one, in 1982. Angela, having been worsted in battle by her nephew Chase, smiled and said: 'He thinks he's won!' The smile was radiant - full of enjoyment at the thought of proving him wrong, and quite bereft of any malice. No JR crocodile grin there. Angela was simply delighted at the thought of future ferocities. And I was entranced.

Falky was enthralling - plane crashes, vicious business cartels, long lost relatives, earthquakes, shootings, fires, Nazis... it had the lot - and more!

Great cast, too. There were rumours of backstage hostilities. When veteran film actress Lana Turner appeared in one season, Jane Wyman reportedly refused to act with her - and some scenes had to be recorded separately. Finally, Miss Wyman was reported to have said that either she remained in the series, or Miss Turner - not both.

Lana Turner's character was killed off in a shooting at the Falcon Crest mansion.

As for the behind the scenes revelations - rumour or truth? The speculation all added to the fun of watching the series - and it was an immensely enjoyable series, made with great skill and gusto.

In 1981, the cast of Falcon Crest appeared to be quite dowdy, but, as the 1980s took wing, power dressing and glitz became the norm. Here's some of the regulars, circa 1987. The man in the middle is Lorenzo Lamas, Angela's grandson, Lance Cumson. He never quite outwitted his 'loving' granny.

I will never forget Jane Wyman as Angela, Margaret Ladd as her delightfully dotty daughter Emma, Abby Dalton as her other daughter - the driven-over-the-edge Julia Cumson, Chao Li Chi as Cha Li - the wise butler at the Falcon Crest mansion, David Selby as Richard Channing - the milk-drinking business mogul, Susan Sullivan as lovely Maggie Gioberti - persecuted in-law of Angela, Robert Foxworth as Chase Gioberti, Maggie's husband and Angela's goodly nephew, and Lorenzo Lamas and Ana Alicia as Lance and Melissa Cumson - wow, that couple had sparks!

Required viewing at the time - and on DVD now. It lifts any free afternoon way out of the mundane.

Mr Dog - Specially Prepared Because Some Dogs Are Called Cesar...

Anybody remember Mr Dog dog food? Well, if you remember the 1980s you probably do. The dear little tins were packed full of goodness your doggy couldn't get from fresh meat alone, and specially made to care for a small dog's needs. At first. Then Mr Dog was specially made because some dogs are special. Then out went Mr Dog in 1989 and it was suddenly made because some dogs are called Cesar. Apparently.

Comedian Eddie Izzard posed the question 'why did Mr Dog change its name?' in recent years. Well, while the scenario he painted of a late night meeting at Mr Dog HQ with bonkers late night thought processes running rampant was quite amusing, the real reason was simply to bring it into line with its European brand name.

Anyway, for our screen caps we've picked some lovely pics from an early Mr Dog ad - from 1982 - and two later ads from 1985 and 1987.

Aw, cute, eh?

A new decade on the way and a new canine treat! 

And the first thing any self respecting seller must do is flog the goods to the punter. Pedigree Pet foods, purveyor of our canine culinary delight, knew this full well. The twee, posh dog nosh hit the supermarket shelves in 1978, and the first two Mr Dog TV ads on the BFI site date from 1980. They were 'King Charles Spaniel' and 'Poodle'. More ads then spanned the rest of the decade. 

A few years in, the ads gained a very twee... er... cute jingle, which is now etched on my brain.

Mr Dog was famous. Even if you didn't own a dog, you couldn't fail to be aware of the ads.

For myself and certain people I knew Mr Dog also achieved a certain sinister significance as the 1980s progressed.

I recall a friend's mother having a nervous breakdown in the mid-1980s. She was admitted to a psychiatric hospital, where she briefly believed that Mr Dog was spying on her and listening to every word she said.

Honestly.

My mate was visiting her at the hospital. Sitting in the day-room, he noticed she seemed a bit brighter, was talking far more logically, and he was feeling very relieved. They were chatting away ten-to-the-dozen, when suddenly she leaned forward:

'Ssh! He'll hear you!'

'Who'll hear me, Mum?' asked my mate.

'Mr Dog!' said mate's Mum.

Spied on by dog food? Or was there more to it? Just who was Mr Dog? I was twenty years old, with an over-active imagination, and although I appreciated the gravity of my friend's Mum's illness, on the quiet my thoughts conjured up visions of a sinister cigar smoking poodle, surrounded by yappy henchdogs. My fantasy poodle was the mutt who might be behind the Mr Dog empire, Mr Dog himself in fact, a mutt of immense power.

Don't mess with Mr Dog...

My friend's Mum made a full recovery and could only say afterwards that the Mr Dog delusion came about simply because she'd seen too many of the ads.

Advertising is a mighty powerful tool - sometimes with very unforeseen results...

Cute little tins, weren't they?

On to 1985 and yappie yuppie Mr Dog is having beef for din-dins.

And he loves you for it because it's so expensive and 'special'. Mercenary little git.

Mr Dog was, of course, mentioned in Domesday. No, not the 1086 version, but the 1986 BBC 'snapshot' of the UK - the BBC's very first digital project.

Eleven-year-old Joanna Hall had this to say:

My family and I own 2 cats and one dog. Our dog is a female, black and white Jack Russell terrior called Tinker. She is 13 years old, two years younger than my sister, Becky. 

Tinker gets fed "Mr. Dog" dog food at the time when I have my tea (6pm). She has a plentiful supply of water. 

I take her on walks as often as I can. I like taking her down the lane to Brompton on her lead, but she prefers going down the field behind our house. 

Tinker understands most commands, like "stay", "walkies" and sometimes "sit!" She usually sleeps on a chair in the kitchen. She is a lovable dog and doesn't bite. She is rarely naughty except when she eats the cats' food. 

The two cats are twins and can be told apart by their different coloured noses: one is black, the other pink.

Mr Dog wakes up from a nice snooze in 1987...

... and gets stuck in...

... and with Mr Dog then available in a new larger size, he could indulge in a little conspicuous consumption. Just watch out for your carpets and soft furnishings afterwards.

1989 - FAREWELL, MR DOG! BLUB!!! A transition ad. Even with fabulous Johnny Morris of 'Animal Magic' fame to do the voice-over, it was still a tremendous blow.

Blind Date - Straight Talking, Non-PC - Beautiful '80s TV!

You know, nowadays we're scared of opening our mouths in case the words we're about to use aren't politically correct. You see, political correctness has become a very strange thing indeed since we first stumbled upon it circa 1987 - when it seemed somewhat droll.

I've never thought that over-analysing words is a good idea, because it doesn't really make people good or bad or indifferent. So easy to play the PC game while secretly being a nasty bit of work. In fact, being PC seems right priggish to us, love, and when it comes to earnest young girls or guys lecturing their grandparents and telling them not to use a particular word because it's not 'PC', we shudder to think what our grandparents would have thought if we'd tried it. And dread to think of what they'd have done even more. A good clump round the ear 'ole would have been the least of it.

So it's nice to watch good basic entertainment from the 1980s with clear communication.

We've been back in 1986, having a lorra lorra laffs with our Cilla and the Blind Date contestants. Remember Blind Date, which brightened up our early Saturday evenings before we went out to get... er... slightly inebriated?

It was a laff partly because a lot of the contestants had absolutely no fashion sense. Look at the three gents below. I mean, what do No 1 and No 3 look like? Number 1 looks all set to go out and trim his hedge and No 3 looks set for a naff day's junior clerking in the back office of Cloggins and Co, Boiler Specialists.

Only Contestant No 2 shows any sense of style and occasion. The shoulder pads. The bouffant mullet. The lovely shirt. The colourful shoes. The pushed up jacket sleeves.

The young lady's question for this gent was: ' 'ow would you react if I smashed your car on the first day you 'ad it?'

And the gent's reply?

'I'd kill yer.'

A simple, direct reply, and very amusing in the viewing and hearing.

The 21st Century equivalent (if the guy didn't want to leave himself open to ridiculous accusations of misogyny or anger management problems) would probably be 'I wouldn't be happy at all!'

Our verbalisations have become so deodorised it's hard to have a giggle any more. 

Gilbert's Fridge: Calling For Bob...

Regular readers of this epic '80's work (bless you, both!) will know that I am a lover of that very 1980s celebrity Gilbert the alien. In fact, I adore Gilbert so much I have a Gilbert bendy in the bedroom and a Gilbert poster in the loo. Phil Cornwell, the man who brought Gilbert down from Drill, is plainly an English hero and the episodes of Gilbert's Fridge are something that we all want, as Victoria Wood might have said, to keep and keep again.

But is Bob a real painting or was he, like Helen Daniels's finest works in Neighbours, splurged out by somebody 'in scenery'?

But who IS 'Bob', you cry, the creepy chappie from Twin Peaks who was written into the script when the set dresser inspired David Lynch in 1989?

Well no, achuwarly. Bob was the Boston terrier or French-bulldoggie-type-doggie in the painting in the 1988 screen capture from Gilbert's Fridge above. Gilbert, posing as a frightfully posh fine art person, tried to flog him to Dieter Meier of Yello. Dieter was unimpressed and didn't seem to have a drawing room, which would obviously have been the best place to display Bob, so Gilbert gave up, having to admit that Bob was an 'ugly little blighter',

So, is Bob a real painting? According to Gilbert in 1988, Bob was painted by a chap called Merry Pottinger in 'the year 171766 or so', but knowing Gilbert that might not be quite right.

If you know if Bob is a real work of art, please drop me a line to actual80s@btinternet.com.

I imagine this plea will go unanswered, calling forlornly out into the inky blackness of the webby night - 'OOOWOOO! OOOWOO!' - with occasional breaks for a plate of Batchelor's Savoury Rice, a Bejam mini-pizza and a mug of Café Hag - but who knows!

Hoping to hear... one day...

I remain yours, in hoops...

XXXXX

Only Fools And Horses... ONLY Half-Brothers?

The Peckham Trotters in the 1980s. They bickered and fell out, they loved and supported each other - and Grandad watched two tellies at the same time. Just like any other family. Apart from that last bit.
 
I've had an interesting e-mail from Starvo. Here's an extract:

I know Only Fools... is one of the greatest sitcoms of all time, and that it began in the 1980's which you write about on here, but don't you think the revelation that Del and Rodney Trotter were only half-brothers spoiled it a bit? The writer had spent a lot of time building up a believable sibling relationship between the two lead characters, only to make a mockery of it with that. And it meant Rodney wasn't really related to Grandad at all. I felt let down.

Why did you, Starvo? I know a couple of "siblings" today who are "only" half-siblings, but they think the world of each other and have a better relationship than many full-siblings I know. Similarly, I know a "brother" and "sister" who are really only halves, but are unaware of the fact because according to their birth certificates they have the same father. And there are half-siblings in my family, too.

I think the "only" you use to describe the half-sibling bond between Del and Rodney is in a way quite sensible, after all they share half the same origins, not full, but in other ways it's quite odd because it implies that the relationship is less important than full-siblings. I don't believe that is often the case. When I wrote my Only Fools And Horses article on here, I didn't use "only" to describe the tie because Del and Rodney, I simply stated that they were actually half-brothers.

As for Grandad not being a blood relation of Rodney's, I suppose he wasn't. But he was still Rodney's grandad in every other way that mattered.

I think that was one of the greatest things about OFAH. The unity and love of the Trotter family, despite the fact that things were not quite as they might seem, and the situation not being as "respectable" as our squeaky clean 21st Century pundits might like it. Sometimes I think the attitudes of this century are far more old fashioned than the last.

Just a thought to leave you on: step-siblings and adopted siblings have no shared blood at all. Does that make the strong and very real sibling bonds that often exist between them any less real or important than blood-related full siblings? And if not, why did the revelation in OFAH that Del and Rodney were half-brothers make you think that it made a "mockery" of the close sibling relationship between the two?

Great Feats Of The 1980s: Herring Juggling...

The 1980s were simply wondrous. I mean, the World Wide Web, Microsoft Windows, DNA fingerprinting, and other simply hornswoggling inventions were invented, the likes of Eddie The Eagle had us spellbound, and it was a time when our ethos was simply "GO FOR IT!" We will never see its like again. Something rarely mentioned is a fabulous feat from Minnesota, USA. 

Herring juggling.

"Herring juggling? Oh my gawd, who the hell juggles herrings?" you ask.

"No, no," I hasten to put you straight.

"It was the herring that did the juggling."

Let Mrs Rose Nylund of St Olaf fill you in - click on image to read...

1980s TV Ads: Shredded Wheat - "Bet You Can't Eat Three!", Nina Myskow and Ian "Beefy" Botham...

One of the most successful  and best-remembered TV ad campaigns of the 1980s was for the breakfast cereal Shredded Wheat, featuring several screen and sports stars, and the tagline "Bet You Can't Eat Three!"

News Of The World TV columnist Nina Myskow launched into one of the ads' stars, England cricketer Ian Botham, in 1983 whilst the ad campaign was in full swing. 

What, I wonder has the cricketing disaster Down Under done for the sales of Shredded Wheat, so heavily advertised by Ian Botham on telly? And yes, his bum does look as if he's stuffing down at least three at each sitting. Does a spoonful now turn to Ashes in his mouth?

Ouch, Ms M! The gentler sex? Oh, yeah... Poor old Beefy...

Sorry, I'm A Stranger Here Myself

So excited to read that Sorry, I'm A Stranger Here Myself, the Thames TV comedy written by David Firth and Peter Tilbury (now mainly remembered for Shelley and It Takes A Worried Man), which ran for two series in 1981 and 1982, is coming to DVD in March this year. It's the tale of poor, henpecked Henry, who is left his uncle's house in the fictitious English Midland's town of Stackley, and escapes his ghastly wife to return to the scene of his formative years. Unfortunately, the Stackley of 1981/1982 is not the Stackley Henry so fondly recalls, hence the title - Sorry, I'm A Stranger Here Myself.

Punk rocker Alex is squatting in Henry's house, Asian Mumtaz is running the corner shop, and there is a militant union shop steward living next door!

This is a very witty portrayal of the 1980s as they were before the yuppies, before the brick-sized mobile phones, before the explosion of creative energy brought to television by Channel 4, before the credit boom, before the huge shoulder pads. A 1980s where the Rubik's Cube and CB radio are huge crazes, New Romantics are the current pop sensation, Charles is marrying Di, and inner city riots are erupting.

The stars were Robin Bailey, Christopher Fulford, David Hargreaves, Diana Rayworth and Nadim Sawalha.

I ate this series with a big spoon. Can't wait to see the DVD and write a full review!

Only Fools And Horses

An historic TV listing page from the Sun, 8 September, 1981... The very first episode of Only Fools And Horses is about to be broadcast. Unfortunately, I was hooked on The Flame Trees of Thika, and missed it!

From the Sun:

David Jason blunders into a world of birds, bets and shady deals as the star of a new comedy series tonight.

The funny little man from A Sharp Intake Of Breath plays fast-talking fly-boy Del Boy Trotter in Only Fools And Horses (BBC1, 8.30)

But his deals never seem to come off.

The title of the seven-part comedy series sums up Trotter's philosophy - work is only for fools and horses.

Trotter, a South Londoner, has a younger brother and aged grandfather to support.

He holds a deeply felt conviction that someone somewhere is making an easy fortune and that sooner or later he will do the same.

Jason says: "Trotter feels that because he doesn't take anything out of the State he doesn't see why he should put anything back.

"He doesn't believe in paying any tax he can avoid."

Jason, a bachelor, has a country cottage in the Home Counties, where he writes radio shows.

In tonight's programme, Trotter buys a cargo of executive brief cases - only to find he cannot sell them because they are hot property.

 In 1980, BBC scriptwriter John Sullivan, having completed work on his previous TV series, Citizen Smith, was looking for a new project. Would a comedy set in the world of football set the 1980s alight? The BBC thought not, and they didn't like Sullivan's follow-up idea for a comedy centred on a street trader in London, either. But Sullivan persisted, and, with a little help from producer and director Ray Butt, won the day. The BBC commissioned a first series.

The working title for the new show was Readies, but the show's actual title turned out to be Only Fools And Horses. "Why do only fools and horses work?" was the question posed by the famous theme song (which took a little time to arrive), and Del Boy Trotter wanted to get rich quick. The title was highly appropriate.  

John Sullivan was born in Balham, South London, in 1946, of Irish and English parentage. He grew up in a poor community, full of characters and comedy, as he later recounted. At school, he met the works of Charles Dickens and was never the same again.

As a young man in the early 1960s, John Sullivan had several jobs, including one in the used car trade. Interviewed years later, he said that during that time he met "a lot of villains, quite a rich seam to tap into later when I started writing. " In other interviews, he spoke of his need to break away from his poor background and make some money.

In 1962, Sullivan was hugely impressed by a BBC Comedy Playhouse production, featuring the characters of old man Steptoe and his frustrated son, Harold - desperate to break away from his grotty old dad and the scrapyard they ran. Sullivan was impressed by the drama and comedy in the show, and this would later influence his own work.

In the late 1960s, he started sending scripts to the BBC - but each one came back rejected. By the early 1970s, Sullivan was working as a plumber and still nursing ambitions to be a TV writer. He married Sharon Usher in 1974 and took an unusual route into the BBC for an aspiring scriptwriter - working in props, set dressing and scene shifting.  

At the Beeb, Sullivan met Ronnie Barker, who got him to write some sketches for the Two Ronnies, and the legendary comedy producer Dennis Main Wilson, who championed Sullivan's cause. The result was Citizen Smith making its TV debut as a series in November 1977. Wolfie Smith, lead character of the series and head of the Tooting Popular Front, was inspired by a man Sullivan had seen in a pub in 1968. Citizen Smith ran until December 1980. 

And so, we're back to the beginning of this article, with Sullivan finishing work on Citizen Smith in 1980 and looking for another series idea...

Sullivan drew extensively on his own background and life experiences for Only Fools... - Del's love of fancy foreign phrases, for instance, came from a man Sullivan had known when he was working in the used car trade when he was about seventeen years old, back in the early 1960s. Another inspiration for Del was the "fly pitchers" Sullivan had observed at various London street markets throughout his life.

Sullivan said that he wanted to reflect modern working class London - most series set in London seemed to take a rather nostalgic view of life in his opinion. The first series of ITV's Minder, which had a modern London setting, had not troubled the ratings but the 1980 series, tweaked and with more comedy added, saw Arthur and Terry beginning to take a grip on the viewing public's affections. Sullivan worried that his territory had now been covered, but later wondered if the success of the tweaked Minder may have influenced the BBC in saying yes to his idea for Only Fools And Horses.

How it all began... Del Boy ("Lovely jubbly!"), Rodney (bit of a plonker!) and Grandad of Trotters Independent Trading Co - New York - Paris - Peckham.

Filming of series one began in May 1981. The first episode was transmitted on BBC1 at 8.30 pm on 8 September that year. It didn't do great trade with the viewers, but within three years Only Fools... was one of the most popular shows on the telly.

Del Boy Trotter (David Jason) and his younger brother, Rodney (Nicholas Lyndhurst), lived in a flat at Nelson Mandela House, Peckham, with their grandad (Lennard Pearce).

Del was a highly lovable character - his "get rich quick" schemes (he even flirted with a yuppie image having seen the film Wall Street in the late 1980s!) could not disguise the fact that he was really just a silly dreamer - and his love of his family was obvious. When Rodney left home after an argument in the very first episode, Del's facial expression on his return spoke volumes. No words were needed.

Grandad immediately leaving his armchair to prepare Rodney a meal (another plate of salmonella and chips?) also spoke volumes. Here were three characters who often grated on each other's nerves, but who loved each other dearly. Del had brought Rodney up from the age of six after their mother died. We later discovered that Del and Rodney were actually half-brothers, and that Rodney was not even a blood relative of Grandad, but nothing could dent the unity of the Trotter family. They were more of a family than many of the 2.4-children-with-same-parentage variety.

David Jason began his acting career in the 1960s. He partly based Del Boy's mannerisms and dress sense on Derek Hockley, a builder he had worked for as an electrician before becoming an actor.

When actor Lennard Pearce died in 1984, Grandad died too, and Only Fools... began to move away from the traditional sitcom mould by including genuinely sad scenes which moved many people to tears. A touch of pathos had been a sitcom ingredient for decades, Sullivan himself spoke of being influenced by the 1960s sitcom Steptoe and Son as we've already mentioned, but Only Fools... moved things on further, blurring sitcom with drama, serving to enrich and enhance the show and to move the show's characters beyond being mere comic devices.

To fill the gap left by Grandad, Buster Merryfield joined the show as the boys' Uncle Albert.

The Trotters and their friends at the Nag's Head became people we liked, in some cases perhaps even loved, and cared about.

My step-father was often mistaken for actor Roger Lloyd Pack, Trigger in the series. He was even interrupted whilst having a pub lunch by a couple wanting his autograph! Of course, in such high esteem did my step-father hold the brilliantly brainless character Trigger and indeed the entire series, he was chuffed to bits!

Only Fools... was sheer magic... favourite scenes? Too many to mention!

The show has won various awards and has been named the best UK sitcom ever in a viewers' poll.

I suspect it might be.

But it was so much more than a sitcom.

Cheers! Nag's Head regulars in the 1980s: Trigger (Roger Lloyd Pack), Rodney (or should that be "Dave"?) (Nicholas Lyndhurst), landlord Mike (Kenneth MacDonald), Del Boy (David Jason), Uncle Albert (Buster Merryfield), Boycie (John Challis) and Marlene (Sue Holderness)

1984: Minder - A Nice Little Earner...

Terry McCann (Dennis Waterman) tells Arfur Daley (George Cole) where to get off at The Winchester Club. Dave (Glynn Edwards) looks on. Launched towards the end of 1979, Minder was not initially a success. Given a nice new coat of humour in the early 1980s, Minder soon hit the big time.

Ah, Minder...

I could be so good for you...

The show was created by Leon Griffiths.

Launched on October 29 1979, after the infamous ITV strike, the series was not initially a success.

TV critic Hilary Kingsley wrote in 1989:

The first [series] went out straight after the ITV strike and should perhaps have been called "Mindless" - it couldn't make up its mind what it was. Audiences were still confused by Dennis Waterman looking and sounding like the tough cop in 'The Sweeney' but playing the thick thug Terry here. Should they laugh? and where was John Thaw?

Brian Cowgill, managing director of Thames Television, was in there rooting for the show to continue.

And so it did.

The non-successful series of October 1979 to January 1980 soon evolved into one of the "must see" shows for millions of viewers throughout the 1980s as the violence decreased and the humour increased.

And what a beautifully written show it became.

Dennis Waterman took I Could Be So Good For You, the Minder theme tune, into the pop charts in November 1980, and the show itself first appeared in the monthly Top Twenty TV ratings (at No 20) in December 1980.

Arthur Daley, sorry, Arfur Daley, and "Minder" Terry McCann (usually wondering just what his boss was up to) became much-loved regulars on the 1980s TV scene.

As did Arfur's "Mrs" - 'Er Indoors - although we never saw her. She did, however, become the subject of a 1983 Christmas novelty record - What Are We Gonna Get For 'Er Indoors? by Arfur and Terry - AKA George Cole and Dennis Waterman, of course.

A vexing question for Christmas 1983...

George Cole had played spivs long before his debut as Arthur Daley - ever seen him as "Flash Harry", in the 1950s film The Belles Of St Trinian's? As Minder continued and the comedy element was upped (indeed, a mid-1980s TV Times I recently acquired suggests that the comedy element was still on the rise), George Cole was clearly a man in his element.

People loved Minder.

People adored Minder.

People copied Minder.

"People COPIED Minder?!" you cry.

Oh, yes, I reply...

From the Daily Mirror, October 1, 1984:

Conmen are doing a roaring trade with a ruse they pinched from the TV series Minder.

They are posing as council workmen authorised to tow away vehicles which are illegally parked or apparently abandoned.

And that's exactly what happened in an episode of Minder two weeks ago.

A car mechanic posed as a council official to steal a parked car. Terry - alias actor Dennis Waterman - was his unwitting accomplice and the racket was financed by Arthur Daley, played by George Cole.

As usual, Arfur's idea of a nice little earner didn't come off. But the thieves who have copied it are making a small fortune in the Collier Row area of Romford, Essex.

They have used the ruse each time in a spate of thefts. Police have now warned residents to keep tabs on each others cars and to watch out for the conmen.

Meanwhile, Thames Television, who make Minder, are insisting: "Don't blame Arfur."

A spokeswoman said yesterday: "Arfur and Terry can't really be held responsible for what's happened in Romford.

"Every Minder story could be carbon-copied, but they are totally fictitious stories.

"Life can sometimes be stranger than fiction."

Would you Adam and Eve it? Better not try it nowadays though. The 1980s, home to Arthur and Terry, were a different planet. Nowadays, with CCTV cameras and DNA Databases sprouting everywhere, you could end up right up the creek without a paddle.

Mind you, I've got a few dozen original 1980s deelyboppers if you're interested...

Only one careful owner.

Bound to sell.

Guaranteed to go "boing boing" when you pop them on your bonce.

Well... at least till you get them home...

1989 - Sky - The Satellite TV Revolution

A newspaper advertisement - 10/1/1989. 26 DAYS TO GO, it promised and one of the first big attractions was to be the Bruno V Tyson fight, LIVE! from Las Vegas.

In the UK, we thought we were very lucky indeed to get Channel Four in 1982. Imagine - FOUR TV channels!

But, far more obscurely, this was also the year that another new UK-based TV channel was launched - Europe's very first satellite and cable TV service. Wondrously beamed in from outer space and simply called "Satellite Television", it had begun a trial service in October 1981, and was launched on April 26, 1982 - beaming mainly UK programmes to Europe for two hours per night.

"Satellite Television" is not something that I, nor anybody else I know, remembers hearing about at the time. If me and my friends and family are anything to go by, Mr/Ms UK Average Person never even dreamt of having satellite TV back then.

But Channel Four, well that was something worth getting excited about - something for us!

As a related aside, whilst MTV had launched in America in 1981, quite frankly, I'd never heard of it in 1982. Nope, that old faithful 1960s innovation Top Of The Pops was still our weekly dose of TV pop heaven in 1982 here in the UK.

Rupert Murdoch's News International Group took control of the loss-making Satellite Television company in 1983 - according to modern internet sources for the grand sum of £1, plus outstanding debts - and renamed it Sky Channel in 1984.

It's Tuesday March 4, 1986 - the launch day of Eddie Shah's "Today" newspaper, the UK's first colour daily national newspaper, and the TV listings feature details of the cable and satellite broadcasts available. The Sky Channel features such delights as '80s Australian soap "A Country Practice" and the "Pat Sharp Show". As the vast majority of us didn't have satellite, we weren't bothered.

In 1986, BSB, British Satellite Broadcasting, won the Independent Broadcasting Authority's franchise and in 1988 Rupert Murdoch announced plans to relaunch Sky Channel as Sky Television.

And now the fun really began. In 1989, satellite TV was making waves in the UK as the brave new Sky era began.

Were we, the average punters, looking forward to Sky? Let's take a look at a local newspaper to get the vibe "down on the ground" in January 1989...

From the Cambridge Evening News, 6/1/1989

Satellite TV fans are making sure they are tuned into the right wavelength when the viewing revolution hits the screens next month, say city centre stores in Cambridge.

Scores of people have been popping into shops to find out more - and be first in their street to have a dish on their roof.

The first satellite station, Sky, owned by newspaper tycoon Mr Rupert Murdoch, will start broadcasting on February 5.

And most of Cambridge's stores expect to get their first stocks of dishes within the next few weeks to cash in on the revolution.

The manageress of Rumbelows in Petty Cury, Christine Nickson, said: "We have had a lot of inquiries and requests for brochures, but relatively few firm orders so far."

A spokesman for Dixon's in Lion Yard painted a similar picture. He said: "We are taking a few deposits at the moment, but we hope to install a working dish on the roof in two weeks and expect orders to really take off then."

The manageress of Radio Rentals in Lion Yard, Mrs Debbie Jamieson, also reported strong customer interest. She said: "A lot of people have been quite surprised at how small the dishes are."

The first of the new satellite stations comes onstream next month, when Rupert Murdoch launches his four-channel Sky TV. Sky programmes will be relayed from the European Astra satellite.

Three of Sky's channels will be specialist services, one each for news, films and sport. A fourth channel will offer a mixed bill of drama, quiz shows and comedy. Sky will be paid for by advertising and will be entirely free to the viewer.

Sky's main competitor is likely to be British Satellite Broadcasting (BSB), a consortium including Richard Branson's Virgin Group and Anglia TV, which will launch a rival service in the autumn.

Another group, headed by publisher Robert Maxwell, plans to launch six channels later in the year.

Experts predict four million British homes will be tuning into up to 50 satellite channels within five years.

Hmmm...

Apparently, there was "loadsa" choice on Sky TV, including Sky Channel - with quiz shows, soaps, action, comedy, news and sport for all the family; Sky Movies - the ultimate home box office; Eurosport, with 18 hours of sport every day and Sky Arts - concerts, ballet, opera and performance arts.

Hmmm again...

Sky TV listings from the "Sun", 1/5/1989. I'm not that impressed myself, but at least there was MTV... And it was early days...

The 1980s TV Revolution

From the "Daily Mirror", December 19, 1980

Back in 1980, things were very different on the TV front. We had three TV channels - ITV and BBC's 1 and 2.

BBC 2 was definitely "minority taste" as far as working class oiks like me were concerned.

Video technology had been around for yonks, but domestic video recorders for only a few years. They were hugely expensive, only 5% of UK homes had them in 1980. TV games, a more recent arrival, were also the province of the fortunate few.

As the Mirror article tells us:

The only big change in the 70s was that more families bought colour sets.

In my family's home in the early 1980s, there was a black and white TV with the horizontal hold so "gone" people on screen looked like eggs on legs. The plastic wood effect was peeling from the outer casing. We had rented a colour set around 1978 (colour had arrived in 1967, on BBC 2), but couldn't afford to keep feeding the meter.

Nobody I knew had a TV in the kitchen or the bedroom.

The 1980s saw a real revolution in our homes as far as TV was concerned. In 1980, the IBA's latest franchise allocations for the ITV companies led to the disappearance of familiar regional companies Southern and Westward and the arrival of TVS and TSW. Sir Lew Grade's ATV acquired a new board and Central took over in the Midlands. The changes took effect in 1982.

The Mirror articles featured here, all from 19 December 1980, buzz with excitement over future telly-related pleasures - and paint a fascinating picture of the franchise allocations procedures, Lady Plowden and the IBA.

The bosses battle for your TV...

FUTURE

Video, computers and satellites

However much secrecy surrounds the battle for new ITV franchises, one thing is certain. They will all have to take part in a great technological leap-forward in the 1980s.

The only big change in the 70s was that more families bought colour sets.

Now there are video games and computers, video-text and video cassette recorders which can be plugged into home TV sets.

Within five years programmes will be beamed worldwide from satellites.

Pay TV, video disc-players, as well as the new ITV Channel Four and breakfast viewing will all be with us.

Some experts predict that most homes will have two TVs and some three. The family will split up to see different programmes in separate rooms.

With so many new things about to happen in the TV world it is not surprising that one company, which is in danger of losing its franchise, says it will refuse to hand over its studios and know-how to its successors.

They plan to make and market programmes for the new channels and other outlets the big TV technological revolution is expected to produce.

-

With only 5% of UK households having video recorders in 1980, we find Rumbelows offering an incentive to buy one in this newspaper advertisement from December that year.

By 1980 standards £449.99 was a lot of dosh - and not many people could afford it. Similarly, a lot of people were not keen to make the financial commitment to rent a video. There was a recession on.

The 1981 Royal Wedding caused an upsurge in video sales and rentals. My family rented one in 1983.

And we thought we were very posh.

One Foot In The Grave - One Foot In The 1980s...

"I don't believe it! The 1980s? That's all we bloody well need!" says Victor Meldrew (Richard Wilson) seen here with his wife, Margaret (Annette Crosbie).

What's Victor Meldrew got to to do with the 1980s?

Well, did you know that the first series of this brilliant David Renwick sitcom, complete with sublimely tasty additives such as black comedy, tragedy and some very surreal moments indeed, was actually produced in 1989? Yes, 1989!

The series aired on BBC 1 from 4 January to 8 February 1990, and introduced us to Victor, Margaret, and Mrs Warboys (Doreen Mantle) - and the beginning of Victor's existence as a man put out to grass.

Sheer brilliance.

Believe it!