1987 - The Colbys, Fallon, And A Flying Saucer

We've written about Fallon and the flying saucer before, but the subject returns to our minds periodically...

Poor old Fallon. Just what was it with her? There she was in Dynasty, a sort of female equivalent of Falcon Crest's Lance Cumson, a spoilt rich playgirl, played by Pamela Sue Martin. This '80s role shocked us as we were used to Pamela Sue as good old Nancy Drew in the '70s revival of the tales of that worthy young mystery investigator. Hurrah for Nancy!

But thoroughly '80s Fallon was not into investigating mysteries. Oh no. She was into investigating men. If you know wot I mean (nudge, nudge!).

But then Fallon morphed into actress Emma Samms - only Emma Samms's Fallon thought she was Randall Adams and was altogether a sweeter girly than before, even when she finally discovered she was really Fallon.

If you know wot I mean. If you've lost the plot, don't worry - so had the writers...

By then Randall/Fallon had moved on from Denver and the Carringtons to California and the Colbys.

Fallon gets a dislocated shoulder pad on spotting the craft from another galaxy.

EEEK!!!

Of course, The Colbys, the even-richer-than-rich Dynasty spin-off wasn't doing that well. But was a flying saucer really necessary? 

In her great book Soap Box (1988), journalist Hilary Kingsley gave some insights into why it happened:

Its writer, Robert Pollock, told me later that the idea had been that of co-producer Richard Shapiro. 'Apparently Richard had had a dream. He was tremendously excited. At the time the novel Communion was a smash hit. The supernatural was being discussed over dinner-parties everywhere. I couldn't discourage him. I was very worried about our writing ourselves into a corner. How would we get Fallon back? Richard said: "We'll worry about that next season." The scene was not received with enormous enthusiasm, as I expected. It will never be done again.'

So, that was it. How a legendary loopy 1980s American soap storyline came about. And the end of The Colbys.

Of course, Fallon was back on Earth in time for the next season of Dynasty.

Ms Kingsley in 1988 again:

When Fallon and Jeff returned to 'Dynasty' for the series this year, Fallon's time was explained as another of her 'turns', an out-of-body experience. The aliens' spacecraft smelt of cinnamon, she said. 'Were they baking?' Jeff asked. The poor man's disbelief became grounds for another divorce.

I don't believe that 'out-of-body' tripe. Nope. Viewers saw the flying saucer too, and the episode wasn't shot as if from Fallon's point of view (as it should have been if she was in a delusional state), so I reckon she was definitely whooshed away by ET's. You never know wot's gonna happen on dark nights like that, do you?

Such auspicious moments in our cultural history often lead to the question: 'Where were you when...?' Well, when Fallon got whipped away by the aliens I was in the bath, preparing for another night of wild excess at Tracy's Nite Spot.

Read all about it here.

I went to Tracy's Nite Spot. Fallon went...?

Some 1980s Highs... Shoulder Pads In The Broom Cupboard...

Yuppies, new technology, shell suits, power dressing, riots, hamster scoffing... it was all happening in the 1980s...

Great response to our recent post regarding your "1980s bests". Got a few "worsts" as well, but up here at '80s Actual Towers, in our turquoise and pink Great Hall, we're well chuffed, mateyboots!

So, we start with Cliff on those monstrous Power Dressing shoulder pads, complete with Velcro so you didn't "over-pad" - as if that was possible back then...

I hated shoulder pads and used to take them out of any jackets I bought that had them in. The 1950s teddy boy look that became so popular again in the 1970s was more my thing. I thought Joan Collins looked ridiculous and I never chose a girlfriend with a 1980s “power dressing” fetish. You have to admit that the shoulder pads became too big and looked hideous in the 80’s. And the idea of blokes wearing them to hide their beer guts was pathetic. The best thing was the Credit Boom. Enough said.

We quite liked 'em, Cliff - we favoured Miami Vice chic, with a few twists, but each to their own... and as for the Credit Boom... well, after spending the '70s and early '80s living so frugally it hurt, it was like Wonderland...

Gorgeous 1980s colour scheme, but are those shoulders lovely or loathsome?

And here's Karen on Miss Ethel Davis and her lodgers, and Edd the Duck...

I used to like “Number 73” on Saturdays and I thought Ethel, Dawn, Harry and Kim really lived in that house! And I loved Children’s BBC with the puppets and the presenters. It was very lively and I really believed Edd the Duck went to Cubs on Tuesdays. I preferred Edd to Gordon The Gopher actually.

Edd was quite simply a mallard god. And he DID go to Cubs on Tuesdays.

Edd with Andy Crane and Wilson the butler. Children's BBC, which began in 1985, was a must-watch for all kids aged five to fifty.

Phillip Schofield brought shoulder pads out of the board room and into the Broom Cupboard.

Sandi Toksvig? Rubbish! That's Ethel!

And here's the Naughty One:

I remember things like Pot Noodles becoming a big thing. There was a cheesy flavour that smelled revolting but tasted like heaven with a satchet of tomato sauce. And Howard Jones. What Is Love? Does Anybody Love Anybody Anyway? And bulldog clips in my hair – bright yellow ones. And break dancing outside Boots on a Saturday morning with a big red ghetto blaster. I body-popped and my boyfriend thrashed about and he and his mates tried to stand on their heads. People sometimes threw money into our pot but mostly seemed kind of bemused and this woman told my boyfriend, “stop it, you’ll hurt yourself!”

Lurved a Pot Noodle and I remember the flavour you mention. Bliss if you could stand the stink. Howard Jones was excellent, but I never got into breakdancing. Mainly because I couldn't do it.

Gis a Noodle.

And Maria remembers that a saucy title didn't always add up to a saucy film...

When I turned 18 in 1989 I went to see a movie called SEX, LIES AND VIDEO TAPE with my best friend. We both thought it would be very rude with lots of bums and panting and groaning, but it wasn’t really. We thought of asking for our money back, but didn’t dare!

Steven Soderbergh... great, great film. I went to see it too, hoping for a bit of vacuous titillation, but it was so much better than that. Although I was grossly disappointed and swore a lot at the time.

Sonia thought Boy George was so cuddly - and then along came Ecstasy...

I had a Boy George Doll in the mid-80s and I loved him very much. I was surprised to read later that he was one of the people behind ‘Everything Starts With An E’ in 1989. Totally different image!

The 1984 Boy George doll! The Boy went from Karma Chameleon to Planet Ecstasy all in one decade!

And finally for this round-up, Claire says:

My low of the 80’s pop culture was Cabbage Patch Dolls because I found them really creepy and thought they were trying to take over the world. My high was Live Aid. Truly inspiring. I was glued to the TV.

Yes, Live Aid was a WOW! and the Cabbage Patch Kids were hugely popular, but not to everybody's taste. I was afraid I might catch mumps off one.

Sunday People, December 1983: Eek!!! Invasion of the Cabbage Patch People...

Please keep the comments coming. We're having a WICKED time here. Till the next time, xxxx

Dynasty: Joan Collins, Alexis, Shoulder Pads And Leg Warmers...

First came Dallas. These were rich folks, yet somehow gritty. A ranch. Cattle. Offices that looked vaguely 1960s. Clothes... well, the odd fur coat, odd nice frock, but well... let's face it, nothing to really write home about. But then Dallas had JR with his wicked grin and stetson. So, who needed more?

Then came Knots Landing - not particularly dressy in its early days, but with its nice big houses (you could have fitted our kitchen into Karen's kitchen about five times) there was plenty for your average non-rich English viewer to boggle at.

And then came Dynasty. And suddenly clothes were a big thing - particularly after Joan Collins made her debut as Alexis Carrington.

Dynasty had clothes that absolutely screamed "WE'RE RICH!" And they were classy. By '80s standards. Sometimes bizarre. Often very camp. Frills, bustles, Nissen hut-sized shoulder pads...

And Dynasty influenced the other American soaps of the '80s, with the actresses howling for (and getting) higher dress budgets.

And there's no doubt that English actress Joan Collins, who made her debut as Alexis in the second season of Dynasty, had a lot to do with setting the pace.

Joan made her UK Dynasty debut on New Year's Day, 1983.

The Sunday Mirror of May 15 1983 contained a fascinating interview with our Joanie, revealing that one of the scenes which sealed her Dynasty fame featured her apparently with no clothes on at all, between satin sheets...

MY FUN BETWEEN THE SHEETS (COMPLETE WITH LEG WARMERS!)

Joan Collins shrugged her shoulders when she was offered a part in TV's Dynasty. "What is that?" she said.

She thought it was just another soap opera.

It was low in the ratings - the show had failed to grip the imagination of American viewers. But Joan was persuaded to read the script.

She liked it and accepted the role of bitchy Alexis Carrington. Later she discovered that almost every actress in Hollywood had wanted the part..

Few of them could have guessed that Dynasty would race to the top of the U.S. ratings, bringing Joan a success she had never dreamed of.

What really turned her into a superstar was a sizzling bedroom scene that shocked some viewers, delighted others - and made Joan giggle.

"I was wearing leg warmers, tights and a strapless bathing suit," said Joan. "It was hilarious."

"Lloyd Bochner, who played Cecil, and I were writhing around under satin sheets. There seemed to be thousands of people on the set, including a censor, and I kept on breaking up into gales of laughter.

"Yet when the episode was shown it was called the hottest thing ever. The Daughters of the American Revolution tried to get it banned."

The publicity over the episode - which will be shown in Britain shortly - was enormous.

Suddenly Joan was one of the hottest properties in show business. She could no longer walk down the street without dozens of people going up to her.

Thousands of fan letters began to arrive each week.

"Now I am told that in the US my picture on the cover is the biggest seller of tabloid newspapers and magazines after Princess Diana," she said.

"I wasn't even first choice for the role. The pecking order was Sophia Loren, Raquel Welch and then me."

When the offer was made, Joan had just sold her Los Angeles home and moved back to England...

Joan has coped with the explosion of interest in her career and private life remarkably well.

How has she succeeded where so many others have been driven to the analyst's couch?

"Well, I'm a mature woman now and realised the pitfalls from the start," she said.

"To begin with, I don't believe my own publicity, good or bad. A magazine says I am one of the ten most beautiful women in America and then a newspaper will say I am the biggest bitch that ever walked. I don't believe either of those things.

"I'm very conscious of being privileged, doing a job I adore and being successful. The knocks I have to take are part of that. On a scale of one to ten I think I score about nine-and-a-half in terms of luck."

Joan dislikes the gossip surrounding Dynasty.

"People make up fueds between Linda Evans or Pamela Sue Martin and myself," she said.

"The truth is we all get on better than any other television 'family'. I've known Linda for a long time - she is an old friend and she is great. As for John Forsythe, he is the most wonderful, charming guy.

"I've no idea where some of the stuff printed about me comes from."

I walk with her out to her car and suddenly she turns and says: "You know what? Life is like a game of Monopoly. Throw a dice and you get a job in Dynasty. Throw another dice and the ratings fall and you go back three spaces. But I do believe you finally get what you deserve from life and, without being big headed, I think I have earned my success."

And off she speeds along the Monopoly board.

Joan Collins And Her UK Dynasty Debut - TV In '83...

It's New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve 1982, that is, and the telly pages of the Daily Mirror are looking forward to 1983.

So, what had we in store?

Well, firstly, there was Joanie. Our very own Joan Collins, that is. Joan had already made her debut in America on the glitzy soap Dynasty, but we'd yet to see her Alexis exploits here in blighty. New Year's Day 1983 would change all that. And the Daily Mirror on 31 December 1982 was heralding the fact:

Joan Collins was driving through Hollywood. She stopped her car at lights, and was spotted by two young girls.

"We hate you! You're a bitch," they screamed at her.

Joan says: "I was quite taken aback, then I suddenly realised it wasn't me they hated, but Alexis. And I understood just how they felt."

Alexis is the new character Joan plays in the American soap opera DYNASTY.

She takes her bow as a surprise witness for the prosecution in the trial of her ex-husband, oil tycoon Blake Carrington, who is accused of the murder of his son's ex-lover.

I watched Joan working on the TV set in Hollywood. Then, over lunch, she told me: "Alexis is a scheming, sexy, ruthless woman. The part seems to get bigger and juicer all the time.

"Viewers want to be taken out of themselves. They want to watch extremely rich people living the high life, full of emotional problems.

"I think that's why this show is doing so well. instead of cops and robbers and beating people up, the accent is on intrigue and sex.

"It's very glossy and no expense is spared. Each show, which takes us just six days to shoot, costs half a million dollars.

"A lot of money is spent in front of the cameras. We have fresh flowers on the screen - no imitation ones and fresh flowers in Hollywood cost a fortune. I also wear some very expensive gowns."

[Andy's note: Of course it was the Dynasty dress budget and outrageous costumes which set actresses in rival American soaps Dallas and Knots Landing screaming for parity!]

Joan won't talk about what she earns. But her TV contract is said to be worth £250,000.

She says: "When you're used to earning three million dollars a film, I suppose it's difficult to accept a quarter of a million dollars a film.

"I would hate to get into that situation. I think it's obscene, I really do. Some actors do get paid far too much."

Popular ITV quiz show Family Fortunes, which began in 1980, was returning on New Year's Eve 1982 for a fourth series

Presenter Bob Monkhouse said:

"So much money was invested in the first series we had to be sure the idea was a good one. But I stand by my prediction that it can only survive five years, then we'll have to think of something else."

Hmm!

1982 was the last year the UK had to make do without breakfast television, and on New Year's Eve '82, we got our first broadcast from the TV-am studios, home of the ITV breakfast service - and Joan Collins was on the billing:

FROST WARMS UP FOR BREAKFAST TV

David Frost is using a New Year's Eve party to warm up for Breakfast TV.

Tonight he hosts THE END OF THE YEAR SHOW (Channel 4, 11.00) which comes live from TV-AM's new studios in Camden Town.

This is the first time that they have been used and are scheduled to be fully operational by February.

David, who is one of the main forces behind TV-AM, says: "I thought it would be a good idea to have a practice run in the studios before we start our breakfast programmes.

"We have marvellous facilities here and I've always wanted to do an irreverent look at the year.

"We will be looking for the silliest statement, the saddest story, the funniest misprint, the most welcome comeback, the biggest scandal and the worst example of sheer incompetence.

"It will be a ninety minute frolic with such star guests as Joan Collins, Jonathan Dimbleby, Joanna Lumley, Susan George, John Wells, Andrew Lloyd-Webber, Instant Sunshine and many others. Richard Harris sings a great finale. It should be great fun."

Of course, the early days of TV-am have been called a real life soap opera - maybe not quite Dynasty, but definitely very intriguing!

Dynasty

It's New Year's Day 1983 and what treats do we have on the telly? Emu? Val Doonican?

Wonderful.

And what's this - a new series of Dynasty?

Hooray!

With super poised and sexy English actress Joan Collins making her debut?

Double hooray!

The first season of Dynasty had debuted on the BBC on 1 May 1982. The final episode of that season had seen Blake Carrington up to his neck in it, standing trial for murder. A surprise witness was his ex-wife, Alexis, who turned up to testify against him. She was a sinister veiled figure, the first season's cliffhanger.

Under that veil was an extra. But at the start of the next season Joan Collins took the extra's place and it was fun, fun, fun...

Although Krystle, "the ex-stenographer", didn't think so.

Never mind. For us, with our Joan stepping into Dynasty, 1983 got off to a brilliant start.

Blake Carrington (John Forsythe) stands between his wife, Krystle (Linda Evans, right) and his ex-wife, Alexis (Joan Collins). It's a highly civilised piccy, but things soon changed as Alexis and Krystle squared up to each other. Not that moist-eyed Krystle wanted a fight, but Alexis would have tried the patience of a saint - or even Meg Richardson from "Crossroads"...

"Right! That's It! It's into the lily pond with you, my girl!"

"Take that, you absolute hussy!"

Fortunately, Blake happened along and broke up the fight, but, tragically, Krystle's shoulder pads never fully recovered from their ordeal.

Here's Alexis, or at least half of her, in a mid-1980s BP promotion. If you HAVE got her other half, I advise you to give him back. You know what SHE'S like!

1982 - Falklands, Gotta Lotta Bottle, ZX Spectrum, ET, Dynasty On The Beeb, Pixie Boots, Fame, Deelyboppers, Pac-Man, legwarmers and lycra leggings

If 1987 was a posh cocktail at a trendy wine bar, 1982 was a pint and a packet of cheese and onion at The Laughing Donkey. Probably wearing deelybobbers - aka deelyboppers aka bonce boppers. The name ("deely-bobbers" - according to 20th Century Words by John Ayto) was registered in the USA in 1982, with claim of usage since 1981. Previously it had been applied to a children's toy - a type of interconnecting building block.

1980s deelybobbers were glitter-covered polystyrene baubles, on springs, attached to a headband. They were daft but fun and highly popular after their arrival here in the second half of 1982, and throughout 1983.

In this country, I seem to recall them being referred to as "deelyboppers" not "bobbers" back then. And many other names!

I personally favoured "deelyboppers" but, whatever they were called, I thought they were brilliant. More here.

The Falklands War raged and Mrs Thatcher briefly lost son Mark in the desert.

Erika Roe streaked at Twickenham.

The Queen awoke to find an intruder in her bedroom at Buckingham Palace. Michael Fagan sat chatting to her. When he asked her for a fag, she managed to summon help.

Princess Anne told press photographers to "NAFF ORF!" - more here.

The Fame TV series, based on the 1980 film, began on the BBC, and legwarmers, Fame tank tops and sweat shirts were hot.

Grandmaster Flash gave us the brilliant The Message and the Hip Hop scene was on the way.

Jeffrey Daniel of Shalamar introduced us to body popping on Top of the Pops. More here.

England, too, produced quality pop. How about Orville's Song, for starters? Or Toto Coelo's I Eat Cannibals? No? Suit yourself.

Pac-Man, invented back in 1980, was the big WOW at our amusement arcades in 1982.

"Nice Cold Ice Cold Milk!" - the fabulous "Gotta Lotta Bottle" milk ads began. More here.

Trevor Beattie came up with one of the most fondly remembered TV ads of the 1980s - Bixie, Dunk, Brian, Crunch and Brains - the Weetabix - "OK?!" More here.
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Black lycra leggings, ending around the knee, were coming into fashion. Lovely when worn under a rah rah skirt. Pixie boots were a must-have. Boys loved sta prest drainpipes and white socks and the donkey jacket was rampant. The donkey jacket was adopted by girls too, and a trend began for having their names printed on the plastic panel at the back.

As large numbers of girls took up that formerly male fashion, the donkey jacket, boys were less enthusiastic about pixie boots and legwarmers!

My mate Pete was one of the few blokes I knew who wore legwarmers. "Ah," he says, when I remind him of that fact, "But they were always white ones. They had to be white."

What has that got to do with it?!

Pete also wore pixie boots.

"They were cowboy boots!" he now insists. Yeah, right, mate...

The fitness fad was on with the release of the F-Plan Diet and the Jane Fonda Workout video. Sadly, the price of video machines, even to rent, was still prohibitive to many.

The term "Sloane Ranger" had been coined in the mid-1970s, and the publication of The Sloane Ranger's Handbook - The First Guide To What Really Matters In Life by Ann Barr and Peter York in 1982 aroused great interest in the "Ok, yah," brigade.

ET was the darling of the flicks and boosted sales of BMX bikes no end. We were all going around saying "ET phone home" for months, too.

CB radio continued to thrill, inspiring a storyline in Coronation Street that could have been entitled "When Eddie ("Slim Jim") met Marion ("Stardust Lil")" and a storyline in Terry and June that could have been entitled "When Terry got Trapped in the Back of a Lorry in His Car".

The wonderfully anarchic and surreal The Young Ones gave TV comedy a boot up the bottom.

Dynasty was first shown on the BBC on the 1st of May, but Alexis did not appear until the final episode of the first series, a veiled figure in a courtroom scene. In the second series, she was revealed to be our very own Joan Collins (American soap producers seemed to think that a posh English accent gave class to their shows).

Alexis would soon become an 80s legend, but let's not forget the others - Fallon, Pamela Sue Martin, previously the wholesome Nancy Drew; Blake, played by John Forsythe (we couldn't wait to see what Charlie from Charlie's Angels looked like!) and the lovely Krystle - played by the equally lovely Linda Evans. There were many others. Such glitz. Such gloss. Such shoulder pads. Great fun.

Channel Four began, bringing us Countdown, Treasure Hunt, revolutionary soap Brookside and more alternative comedy with The Comic Strip Presents. Ronald Allen (David Hunter of Crossroads) would never be viewed in quite the same way after his stint as Uncle Quentin!

Channel Four also gave us The Tube.

The first Rubik's Cube World Championships were held in Hungary.

Hair gel was becoming an absolute must-have. I was never without a jar, and teased my hair into the weirdest shapes possible.

Boy George flounced onto the pop scene, raising more than a few eye brows.

Duran Duran shoved up the sleeves of their big-shouldered, brightly coloured jackets whilst messing about on the water for the Rio video. The reason? It was a hot day!

The brightly-coloured-jacket-with-pushed-up-sleeve-look became one of the defining looks of the 1980s.

American actor Don Johnson was impressed and ordered similar jackets, but made out of linen, for his character in Miami Vice, which began in America 1984 and popped over here in early '85.

Hi-tec '82 - the ZX Spectrum was launched, complete with rubber keys and "Pong".

1987 - Nokia Cityman, "You Got An Ology?", House Music, Respectable, All Night TV, It's A Sin, The Great Gale, Black Monday, "Nessie, Are You There?"

1987 saw the yuppies reaching the height of happiness. It seemed to be the year of yuppiedom. There was a feeling in the air that mankind had been striving to reach 1987 since creation, and we were now here - chortle, chortle! Nothing need ever change again. The feeling was strong, tangible. Strolling along, reeking of Mandate, bound for yet another night out, I sniffed the summer air and felt a sense of well being I'd never thought possible.

But 1987 was not what it seemed: if most of 1987 was yuppie heaven, from late-October onwards was sheer yuppie hell and, far more importantly, that month also left a trail of death and destruction...

More about 1987's month of turmoil here.

The 1980s had built up a stock of acronyms, and these were in full bloom in 1987. Were you a nimby? This stood for Not In My Backyard. You might be happy to see hostels for the homeless established, nuclear waste dumping sites found etc - just as long as they weren't in your neck of the woods. Then, of course, there were yuppies (young urban professionals). The coining of the "yuppie" tag happened in America in the early 1980s.

20th Century Words by John Ayto, traces the name back to 1982 and defines a yuppie thus:

a member of a socio-economic group comprising young professional people working in cities of a type thought of as typifying the ethos of the 1980s: ambitious, go-getting, newly affluent, young, class-free, owing no debt to the past. Originally US; a hybrid word coined probably by grafting an acronym based on "Young Urban Professional" (or "Young Upwardly mobile Professional") on to a basic model suggested by hippie.

Coincidentally, the book traces the hippie word back to 1953! This came as something of a surprise to me as hippies and everything to do with hippiedom are usually so strongly associated with the 1960s.

Returning to the 1980s, I have read that the yuppie word was first coined in 1981, whilst 20th Century Words, as seen above, traces it to 1982. Whilst there is no doubt that it is an early 1980s coinage, yuppies were most prevalent in the mid-to-late decade.

I've also discovered that as well as plain and simple yuppies there were buppies (black yuppies), Juppies (Japanese yuppies), guppies (gay yuppies) and green yuppies (environmentally concerned yuppies).

And then there were oinks (people with one income, no kids); dinkys (people with dual incomes, no kids yet); minkys (middle income, no kids yet); jollies (jet setting oldsters with lots of loot); glams (greying, leisured affluent middle aged); swells (single women earning lots of loot)... and it went on and on.

Perhaps you were a foodie - obsessively into food trends?

The Eighties/New Man thing was still going strong.

1987 was posh, even the crisps had gone upmarket by this time - "Cheese and onion?" "No, ta, cheese and chive for me." It was so posh that Donna Summer would have been having Dinner With Gershwin and watching Rembrandt sketch if they'd still been about. But it was also brash. The shoulder pads were at maximum stretch. The hair was too big, the puffball skirts too yucky. But we didn't realise.

NMT, the world's first international cellular mobile telephone network, had opened in Scandinavia in 1981. In 1987, the Nokia Cityman, the world's first NMT hand portable, was launched. More here.

Still on the subject of phones, Maureen Lipman made her debut as Jewish grandma Beattie Bellman in the famous BT "ology" ad series. For further details click here!

Musically, we were hearing an exciting new sound which was bursting out of America: House. After Farley "Jackmaster" Funk reaching No 10 in the UK singles chart in late 1986, Steve "Silk" Hurley took it to the top when Jack Your Body made Number 1 in January 1987.

Remember H... H... H... House Nation, which invaded the airwaves in September?

House was a new genre of electronic music which originated in Chicago, USA, in the early 1980s. And here in 1987 we were well and truly reaping the benefits.

M/A/R/R/S took us screeching towards the Dance era with Pump Up The Volume, we were Star Trekkin' with The Firm, Kirsty and the Pogues gave us the wonderful Fairytale of New York for Christmas, and the Pet Shop Boys told us It's A Sin.

Neighbours, cancelled by Australian Channel 7, had been picked up by their Channel 10, and we began to see the Channel 10 episodes here in 1987. This was the year we first clapped eyes on busybody Mrs Mangel. Played by the English-born actress Vivean Gray, Mrs Mangel was the type of sticky beak character essential to all good soaps. Mrs M palled up with Eileen Clarke (played by another English-born actress, Myra de Groot) and the two gave the soap some of its finest and funniest moments.

The role of Neighbours' skate boarding teen Scott Robinson was recast - a young actor called Jason Donovan stepped into the role, and soon he needed a love interest. The character Charlene Mitchell was introduced, played by another young unknown, Kylie Minogue. 1987 saw Scott and Charlene marry in Australia, however we lagged behind and would have to wait until 1988. Neighbours' popularity swelled enormously here in 1987, and Scott and Charlene's courtship kept ever-increasing numbers of us glued to the screens. "Read All About It" here.

Soap, soap n' more soap was the order of the day. But after Pammy's dream in Dallas the previous year, could we really take any more weirdness?

In Dynasty spin-off The Colbys, Fallon was whisked away at the end of the series in a flying saucer. More here.

It was a great year for Michael Douglas. On at the flicks was the morality tale Wall Street ("greed is good"), and the chilling Fatal Attraction. The bunny was on the boil. Conveniently, I managed to spill my popcorn at several tense moments during the film, and so was spared the worst scenes.

Glenn Close put in an absolutely stunning performance as the very first bunny boiler... remember that bathroom scene, where she lies beneath the water, apparently dead, with that slightly puzzled, slightly hurt expression on her face? Then - ARRRGGGHHH!! - up she rises and, oh dear, there goes the popcorn again...

Actually, I didn't go to the pictures very often because I preferred to dance. I loved the local Nite Spot; I loved the black and chrome decor and all the full length mirrors; I loved the pink and blue neons; I loved togging myself up in my white chinos; or one of my black suits with the multi-coloured cotton flecks; or my shiny grey suit; or my bright pink linen jacket; or my smart blue jacket - which went so well with my banana yellow skin-tight trousers.

I often wore one of my stockbroker shirts or a nice cerise vest...

I was completely and utterly hooked on big shoulder pads. I was developing a very slight beer belly, and the pads detracted from this brilliantly.

All my clothes were cheap-and-cheerful- from the likes of C&A - there was some lovely... well, I suppose it might now be called "flash trash" around.

In the news, Manchester police chief James Anderton announced that God may be using him as a prophet.

There were several terrible tragedies in 1987 - the capsizing of the car-ferry Herald of Free Enterprise and the Hungerford killings to name but two.

In October, my attention was diverted north of the border as it seemed that Nessie was, at last, to be revealed. But she wasn't.

The Colbys: Fallon Meets The Aliens...

A chance encounter on a lonely highway...

The Colbys was a spin-off from Dynasty, first shown in America in late 1985. It was the saga of another super-rich American family, with Charlton Heston starring as Jason Colby, the patriarch, Barbara Stanwyk as his sister, Constance, and English actress Stephanie Beacham (of Tenko and Connie fame) as the show's bitch, Sable.

The Colbys also featured Fallon (Emma Samms) and Jeff (John James) from Dynasty and it was envisaged that other Dynasty characters could make guest appearances.

What could be better? A sure-fire success. Bound to succeed.

Oh yeah?

It seemed that we had enough super-rich family sagas already, because The Colbys bombed.

However, the show did leave behind a classic soap memory: Fallon was spirited away by aliens in a flying saucer at the end of the final series in 1987. This was, apparently, the idea of co-producer Richard Shapiro, although others in the cast and production team had grave misgivings.

I was in the bath the night the abduction episode was screened in England, getting spruced up for a bop at the local Nite Spot. At that time, one of my flatmates was a woman who... well... thought very slowly. She was also quite prissy and spoke in a squeaky 'little girl' type voice. I'm a fan of the English West Country accent, but coming from... I'll call her Mary... it sounded irritating.

Mary sighed over my 'wild' lifestyle. 'If only you young people could find religion, you'd be a lot happier.'

She was three years older than me. And her dressing gown was candlewick. Imagine that. Actually, looking back, I quite liked Mary. She was ultra untrendy and staid, I was ultra-trendy and wild. It takes all sorts. And I was always nice to her when we shared the flat because I sensed she'd had a sheltered upbringing, and was not finding the Big Bad World easy.

Anyway, back to the night of Fallon's extra-terrestrial abduction. At that time, the communal phone in our flat was in the hall, right by the bathroom door. The hall was uncarpeted and I heard Mary clopping along to the phone as I luxuriated in the tub. We still had a dial phone then, and I heard her dialling... then...

'Hello How are you? Yes, thanks, I'm fine. You'll never guess what's happened. Fallon's been taken off in a flying saucer. Oh, you know? Yes... well, I'm shocked. That poor girl... Dreadful, isn't it? Mmmm... yes... mmm... terrible. Well, you hear all sorts of odd things. I don't know what I'd do.... mmmm.... What shoes are you wearing for Sarah's wedding?'

I can't recount Mary's words verbatim, but you get the gist.

From the ridiculous to the mundane - I had to stuff my sponge in my mouth to stop myself exploding into laughter!

Fallon returned to parent series Dynasty later, reporting that the space ship had smelt of cinnamon. "Were they baking?" asked her husband, Jeff, as fogged as the rest of us.

Strange days indeed.