Computer Technology 1988 - IT For The Terrified...

TV Times, 10/11/1988: IT for the Terrified -

1: STORMY FRIDAY

Our world is increasingly dominated by new technology. So how can ordinary people be expected to understand what is happening?

Those were strange days indeed! I never thought I'd get to grips with computer technology back then - ever! I simply couldn't imagine it - the whole thing was far too complicated and what would be the point? I was far from being alone...

But the invention of the World Wide Web by Tim Berners-Lee in 1989 would end up bringing computers into just about ALL our lives.

Good programme, IT For The Terrified - I'd love to see it again. It would be quite nostalgic and fascinatingly dated!

1989: The Fall Of The Berlin Wall

Thinking about 1989 the other night, two events sprang into my mind, followed by a whole battalion of others. I haven't much time, so I'll just toddle through the first two here...

The first of the 1989 events that came to mind when I focused the little grey cells on that memorable twelve months, was the invention of the World Wide Web by English software engineer Tim Berners-Lee at CERN in Switzerland.

This event passed unnoticed by the vast majority of us at the time - we would not discover its wonderful, world-altering significance until the 1990s. Read all about it here.

The second event to trot into my noddle was the Fall of the Berlin Wall...

An absolutely stunning historical moment...

Here's how the Daily Mirror reported events on Saturday, November 11, 1989:

TOGETHER AT LAST

on the day the world became a better, braver place...

Holes were bulldozed in the Berlin Wall and East Germany promised free elections yesterday as thousands of her citizens continued to pour out to the West.

Minutes after the election announcement, East German bulldozers began smashing two more holes as exit points in the wall. And eight more border crossings will be made next week.

For the Communists it is a calculated gamble in an attempt to stem an exodus. For the East German people, already almost delirious with the pace of change, it is another giant step to freedom.

The East German Communist Party unveiled an amazing package of reforms, including free elections, changes in the economy and parliamentary control over the army.

This revolutionary programme means party bosses have now given thousands of demonstrators everything they demanded during peaceful candlelit protests.

They knew that East Germany's 16 million people would never have halted the protests unless free elections were granted.

Yesterday the East Germans were walking and driving through the Wall at the rate of 800 an hour, sounding their car horns and weeping with emotion.

For some, however, the dizzying pace was almost too much. The East German guards did not know quite how to react to the West German who stretched out the hand of friendship near the Checkpoint Charlie crossing.

But for the families who were crossing into West Berlin all day there were no doubts. They came, they saw... and they fell in love with the capitalist world they had for so long been taught to distrust.

With the toys in the shops - the Batman cars, the walking, talking, living dolls, the video games, the mountain bikes.

With the clothes. The baby wear. The range of cars.

But, most of all, with the overflowing shelves in the supermarkets. For many who are younger than the 28-year-old wall, it was their first day of freedom. Their lives have been dominated by secrecy and shortages.

Their first taste of Western plenty was a free handout.

Police and savings banks told excited East Germans who wanted to go shopping the way to social security offices.

There they were given 100 West German marks - worth about £35 - in "welcome money."

Gunter Martin, a factory worker from Halle, waved a wad of East German marks and said: "This is completely useless to me here.

"It's the most unbelievable day of my life. I just shut up my car repair shop and jumped in my car as fast as I could."

Reinhold Haupt, a 41-year-old electrician who drove from Ashersleben to spend the weekend in West, was showered with hospitality by a crowd of West Germans giving the new arrivals a heroes' welcome.
 
Within minutes someone offered him a bed, another said he would take him on a tour, a third handed him a cup of coffee and a woman pressed a 10-mark note into his hand.

He spent his "welcome money" on bananas, oranges, coffee and chocolate, all in short supply in East Germany.

Civil servant Thomas Kolbar said: "I turned up at my aunt's house last night and she nearly died of shock."

The Communists' gamble may pay off. Most East Germans are only visiting the West, happily returning home after partying or sight-seeing in the West.

No one could count the numbers going to the West in Berlin. But elsewhere, 45,000 East Germans swarmed to the West yesterday and only 2,500 stayed.

More from 1989 soon.

More 1980s Sports Wear For Men - The Way Things Changed - 1981 And 1989....

UGH! 1981! Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear... "Sporty mix 'n' match separates in a comfortable jersey-knit with 'tennis' motif". Never fear. As the 1980s continued, sportswear would never look the same again. Thank heavens.

Some of these aren't too bad... but hardly exciting.

In fact, 1981 was simply not very exciting in the world of sportswear. And just look at that dreadful bubble perm (far right)! Still (smiles fondly), good old Fred Perry!

1989 - the ultimate year of the 1980s - "The Style Decade" - and sportswear was certainly stylish by then. So much had changed since 1981. All the designs featured are SO much of the era. And that lad in the second pic looks like he's finding the fact a painful experience. Makes me eyes water.

Tragically, by 1989, many of us were on pose overdrive. But never mind. Those tracksuit designs are now called "classic" and highly sought after. Classic? They're pure 1980s, darlings! But fashion snobs HATE acknowledging the fact! Nevertheless, these designs are very influential and popular today. And I LOVE them!

Le coq sportif. By 1989, some even quite working class men were going to the gym! Sports clothes for men had become colourful, modern, designer. So handy for getting down to a serious workout. Or nipping out to the corner shop for a packet of fags.

Introducing the first mobile phone - the DynaTAC 8000x

The first commercially available handheld cellular phone ever was unveiled in 1983 (although, according to Motorola, they weren't available to consumers until 1984). Motorola had invested fifteen years of research and $100 million in the advancement of cellular technology, and the story stretched back much further than that. The first handheld mobile was called the DynaTAC 8000X and was unveiled on March 6th. It was, of course, a brick. At a price of $3,995 it wasn't for everybody.

If the first commercially available mobile was a brick, boggle at the thought of the first working Motorola prototype ten years earlier which has been described as a boot! Motorola built several prototype models between 1973 and 1983.

And we ended up with a brick.

Rudy Krollop, one of the original Motorola designers, said recently: "In 1983, the notion of simply making wireless phone calls was revolutionary and it was an exciting time to be developing the technology at Motorola."

England's first mobile phone call was in 1985.

1982: Postman Pat Joins The Postcode Campaign

 "Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat and his black and white... er... postcode..."

"Always use your postcode - you're not properly addressed without it," said the Post Office ads - endlessly in the early 1980s. Most of us wouldn't have known our postcodes if somebody had stuffed them up our noses back then. In 1982, Postman Pat, the BBC children's TV character, who made his debut in 1981 and was created by John Cunliffe, joined the chorus in this rather natty little badge. By the late 1980s, I knew my postcode. Just about.

1986: Black Type Murdered By A Picnic Table Wielding Maniac? What A Nightmare!

This book, which I found last year in a local charity shop, is truly brillo pads. It's completely and utterly swingorilliant. It transports me back effortlessly to the heyday of Smash Hits magazine - that heyday, of course, being the 1980s. Those were the days of Madonna, Morton "Snorten Forten" Harket, miserable Morrisey, Bros, Jason and Kylie, Wham!, Adam and the Ants and other "pop" "stars". The days of "akchewerlery" and frightwigs. The days of Rick Astley's Ruddy Big Pig. The days of Black Type. Black Type? Yus, mateyboots, Sir Blackford of Type, the legendary letters page editor of Smash Hits.

In 1986 a nation mourned as horrendously horrible news broke: Black Type had been brutally murdered by a picnic table-wielding maniac. Stunned horrendous horror gave way to cries of "worra swizz!" as it all turned out to be a dream and Black Type lived on to blacken many more pages of Smash Hits.

 

Some utterly fabby Smash Hits covers from 1986 and 1987. Yes, folks, we have Howard Jones! We have Duran Duran! We have the Beastie Boys! And yes, yes, YES!!! we have Nick Kamen and the Housemartins.

The book even features some advertisements from the 1980s. Remember chat lines? After British Telecom arrived in 1980 and became a public corporation in late 1981, all sorts of new and highly exciting thingies happened - things like chatlines, which rose into the stratosphere in the mid-1980s. Great fun, coz the World Wide Web wouldn't be invented until 1989, so you could natter to all sorts of Tom, Dick and Harrys in the comfort and safety of your own black ash infested pad even back then. But chatlines had such potential aggro value they were actually featured as a storyline on Brookside. Yep, some kiddies dialled the digits and drove their parents' phone bills sky high, causing many tears and smacked botties before bedtime.

EastEnders 30th: How Julia Smith Insisted On The Cast Looking Dowdy Back In 1985...

Thank gawd for Angie, one of the few who brought some fashion reality to Albert Square!

30 years of EastEnders! And, of course, most of us who were there will fondly recall the soap's beginning on 19 February, 1985. But there was a mystery back then which troubled me...

Why did so many of the characters look so dowdy? With the exception of Angie and a few others, the residents of Albert Square looked thoroughly grotty.

And this, slap-bang in the middle of the 1980s, a time of bright colours, big shoulders, huge hair and other marvels.

I thought at the time that they must be having it rough in the old East End, although unlikely as rough as the residents of Albert Square (a newspaper article a couple of years later, contrasted the lives of the residents of a real East End square with our Albert, and found that people were actually rather better off and things were nowhere near as aggro.).

However, the brilliant but somewhat misguided Julia Smith wanted to set the show "uncompromisingly in the 1980s" - and by that, we mean the trendy lefty's view of the 1980s, not the real 1980s. It was unthinkable for these wine bar-frequenting TV types to present anybody as having a good time in the Thatcher/Reagan era.

And so the reality - that many real '80s East Enders were spending lots of dosh on looking posh (in the '80s sense of the word, of course!) and rather enjoying themselves with the credit boom and whatnot had to be ignored.

June Hudson, original costume designer of EastEnders, had done her research. In 1984, she had taken a look at real EastEnders. No lack of bright up-to-date fashions, nor dosh either. An interview with her in the Radio Times this year reveals:

... the two women [June Hudson and producer Julia Smith] clashed over the look of EastEnders. “Julia said, ‘You should be able to get all the clothes from Oxfam.’ But I’d done my homework, weeks of research in the East End, in Ridley Road and Roman Road markets. I noticed how bright and fashionable the people were. I felt I had to make a stand with Julia over the look, the brightness of real East Enders. It was all about pride and image in the East End in the early 80s. I was amazed by the sheer cash, people getting wads of notes out of their pockets as thick as your wrist."

Although the early episodes achieved a careworn, grungy patina, June Hudson stuck to her guns and several characters looked smart and colourfully dressed. And soon she felt vindicated: “The Sunday Mirror ran a story ‘The bright and fashionable East End – will the BBC get it right?’ Somebody stuck it on Julia’s door... and it wasn’t me.”

Several years later, after they’d both moved on from EastEnders, June Hudson had lunch with Julia Smith at BBC Television Centre, and her former boss, the Godmother of EastEnders, finally conceded on the “bright and fashionable” East End: “D’you know, I think you could have been right there, June.”

 Michelle tells Den he's the father of the sprog she's expecting. Great storyline. Great characters. Great acting. But where the hell did 'Chelle get that cardie?

What a shame that the wine bar leftie TV execs marred the early 'Enders episodes. Angie and Sharon and a few others were fortunate, but poor old 'Chelle! Never saw a girl her age dressed like that! But then, the "impartial" BBC had it in for Thatcher by the mid-1980s (I couldn't stick her myself, but things were bright and glitzy more than not, it must be said!) and TV execs like Julia Smith were determined to (mis) represent life like wot it was lived. That was all part of the 1980s scene.

However, Albert Square was real in some ways. I lived somewhere very similar, though in a different part of England, and there were loads of characters round my way like Lou Beale and Ethel Skinner and Dot Cotton. The crime rate was nowhere near as high, although my neighbourhood was dog-rough, but hey, EastEnders was leftie "Isn't Thatcher terrible?" soapland, so things had to look grim. And, of course, the 1980s in my poor-as-could-be area were much more dressy than Walford, and there seemed to be a lot more aspiring going on.

But, whatever.

EastEnders was still must-watch viewing for me back then. The social issues and abrasive characters were a tremendous breath of fresh air in the world of soap operas, following on the good (similarly leftie) work of Brookside, which had begun in November 1982.

So... happy birthday, EastEnders!

By the way, I've still got my pink linen Miami Vice-style jacket from 1985. Looked so good with a neon blue mesh vest and the sleeves pushed up.

It was £10.99 from my local market.

Too dear for Albert Square's menfolk, of course... 

All Thatcher's fault, of course! :)

Happy 2015... Wish It Was 1985?

Happy New Year to all my readers (bless you both! x).

Ellen has e-mailed me to take me to task about the Spands, as I used to call 'em. How could I ignore 'em?

You've mentioned the Thompson Twins, PIL, Duran Duran, house music, acid house, Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, Neneh Cherry, Eurythmics, Adam and the Ants, Pet Shop Boys, even Agadoo by Black Lace and Tarzan Boy by Baltimora. But you've ignored one of the most iconic pop groups of the 1980s - SPANDAU BALLET. How could you do that?

Um, well, to cut a long story short I lost my mind, Ellen. No slight intended to the lads and that's TRUE. I just haven't got round to them yet. But I will. Hope you like the pic of them at Live Aid in 1985.

Happy New Year!

This Is Not A Love Song - "Crossing Over Into Free Enterprise" With Johnny And PIL

John Lydon found there was a future after all in 1983 - in free enterprise!

Cally Asks:

In the 1983 PIL song This Is Not A Love Song, I thought John Lydon sang: "I'm crossing over into free enterprise/big business is very wise". But I keep reading on lyrics sites that it was "e-enterprise". This makes no sense as E's were not big business then - lol! Which is it?

It's free enterprise, of course. The mantra of the 1980s. Good song that, even though it wasn't a bit like Spandau Ballet's big 1983 hit, True. But then it certainly wasn't a love song! :)

Back in 1983, the internet was unheard of by the vast majority of us (in fact it was still coming into being) and, as the World Wide Web would not even be invented until 1989 and was not up-and-running until the early 1990s, that's how things remained. The "on-line" experience was a far rarer - a far geekier and nerdier - experience back then.

However, the phrase "Free Enterprise" was everywhere in the 1980s, even the ferry tragedy of 1987 contained it. The ferry's name? Herald Of Free Enterprise of course!

But no "e-enterprise" We simply didn't have the technology to get selling on-line, although computing came on in leaps and bounds during the decade, including the arrival of the first commercial computer mouse, the invention and release of the first versions of Microsoft Windows, plus the likes of the ZX Spectrum and the Apple Mac.

However, John Lydon may have updated his lyrics in more recent renditions of This Is Not A Love Song.

Bless 'im.

 

Christmas Presents 1980s Style - 3: Sportswear

I was surprised at work the other day when a nineteen-year-old girl told me she was aping my fashion-sense. I was an unashamed 1980s trendy person, and still have numerous garments left over from that glorious decade. Of course, many '80s fashions have returned over the last fifteen years or so, and I've taken to wearing a 1987 sports jacket that I received for my twenty-second birthday way back then. Imagine my surprise when my young colleague informed me that she had acquired one just like it - at a price I found surprising - in a vintage shop and, furthermore, wore it to "modern day" rock concerts! With all that in mind, take a look at the beauties above. Sportswear moved on in leaps and bounds in the '80s and has had a tremendous impact on keep-fit wear ever since.

Perhaps your current cuddle will be dead chuffed if you present him/her with something rather shell suited in style this Yule...

Christmas Presents 1980s Style - 2: Garfield Car Window Stick-On

Dear old Garfield. So funny - and downright... er... catty. After creator Jim Davis' Paws Inc company was founded in 1981, Garfield merchandise flew into the shops and began arriving here in England circa 1983.

The character had made his debut as an American newspaper comic strip in 1978 - back then he was far more traditionally cat-like in appearance, but his image evolved until the early 1980s when he came to look pretty much as he does today.

In the 1980s, there were Garfield posters, mugs, figurines, greetings cards, soaps, clocks, telephones - you name it. By the middle of the decade, he was everywhere.

And he stared out from many a passenger seat window in passing motors.

These still crop up on internet auction sites, and, if seeking to evoke the feel of the Style Decade are surely a must.

Garfield seems to capture the attitude of many cats I've known - selfish and yet hugely lovable. Perhaps he also sums up the selfish side of ourselves we don't like to confess to.

Whatever the reason, he's tremendously funny.

Read our main Garfield post here.

1982: The Genius Of Snoopy (And Charles Schulz)... "Don't Be Born So Soon"...

Ooh, the 1980s!

"It's not that you're not good enough. It's just that we can make you better. Given that you pay the price, we can keep you young and tender..."

Tears For Fears (Mothers Talk - Songs From The Big Chair). How I love those biting lyrics!

The mid-to-late 1980s were fixated with youthful looks, health and beauty. Of course, vanity was not invented in the 1980s, but there's no doubt that the boom era played host to that vice in plenty. More was definitely more. So it's wonderful to read Snoopy's advice on looking younger from May 1982 below.

He ponders the question of how to look younger deeply.

And then comes up with the perfect solution - better than anything on the market.

So simple.

And yet so absolutely impossible.

It's beautiful.

Charles Schulz, creator of Peanuts, was a genius.

From 1950 until his death in 2000, he kept coming up with the goods.

And beagle Snoopy (Vs the Red Baron), Charlie Brown ("Good grief!"), Lucy (with her "crabby genes"), Linus (follower of the Great Pumpkin) and the others are today, deservedly, comic strip legends.

The original comic strips are being collected into a series of books, The Complete Peanuts, and I heartily recommend them.

Simple brilliance. 

 Peanuts, 4 May, 1982.

Christmas Presents, 1980s Style - 1: Snoopy "Inspiration" Photo Frame

With Christmas looming up, we begin a little series of posts designed to give you some inspiration when it comes to showering your pals with gifts - either genuine vintage 1980s, or with an '80s theme.

How about the above? Dear old Snoopy of Peanuts fame faced stiff competition from Garfield in the 1980s, after several decades of reigning supreme. But we still loved him dearly, and Snoopy merchandising continued to sell like hot cakes. The frame above, manufactured by Hallmark Frames (copyright Hallmark Cards Inc.) in 1981, is great. It features Snoopy at his typewriter ("It was a dark and stormy night"). You can pop in a pic of your nearest and dearest and present it to them, or, if you don't HAVE a nearest and dearest, pop in a pic of yourself!

The Great 1980s Courgette Explosion...

So, the 1980s kicked in, and we grotty working class types still ate bread and dripping and considered curry to be the finest foreign food ever invented. Peppers? No plural - pepper was something you shook over your dinner. Mayonnaise? What the 'ecks that? I'd 'ave salad cream, ta! Courgettes? Never 'eard of 'em, mateyboots!

Alf Roberts of Coronation Street stocked some courgettes in 1981, but failed to sell them because his customers had no idea what they were and were not impressed with them when they were explained. In fact, it was very unlikely that staid old Alf would have tried stocking them in 1981, but then Corrie was a fantasy of very well-heeled scriptwriter types.

But in the mid-1980s, as the credit boom boomed and yuppies arrived and consumers finally had a bit of dosh to consume with, courgettes swept in as the thing to be seen dishing up. Even I fell for them, and my local Sainsbury's seemed to be bursting full of them. In May 1984, Weekend Magazine printed the Greenfingers feature above to tell us what courgettes were and how to grow the little blighters.

Of course, in the 1980s we were bombarded with strange new foodstuffs - as "posh nosh" arrived in force and even impacted on the Great Unwashed (people like me).

Read our feature here.

Crossroads 1987 - Growler And Charlie And Mrs Tardebigge And "Chloe"...

Debbie Lancaster (AKA "Debbie Dreadful), played by Kathryn Hurlbutt, is introduced to Growler, played by Growler, by Charlie Mycroft, played by Graham Seed.

Soap operas were different back in the 1980s. Brookside and EastEnders were brave new innovations which had tremendous impact and helped to shape the format of today's soaps (although soaps have become so sensationalised now they're rubbish - in my humble opinion, of course!). There were tremendous changes at the Crossroads Motel in the 1980s and the decade finally killed the Midlands-based soap. 

But, before that, in 1987, brash Brummie businessman Tommy "Bomber" Lancaster bought the place and invited his daughter, Debbie, to have a look around. Charlie Mycroft, major star of the Major International Hotels company, showed Debbie around and introduced her to his mascot - Growler - a plush Scottie dog with googly eyes which guarded his pillow.

Of course, Debbie was a little taken aback and Growler failed to charm her.

Meanwhile, motel char Mrs Tardebigge, had found a fifty pence piece up her 'oover. Wasn't that brilliant? "Finders, keepers, lover!" as Mrs T might have said. Mrs Tardebigge was, of course, a leading member of the Pat Boone Fan Club (West Midlands Branch).

 Mrs Tardebigge (Elsie Kelly) is thrilled by her unexpected good fortune. Elsie Kelly first joined the cast of Crossroads in late 1986 - her character was a creation of new producer William Smethurst.

Meanwhile (again), schoolgirl Beverley Grice, just arrived in the area, was trying to make friends at her new school. She introduced herself to posh Sara Briggs as "Chloe", and was not impressed when her younger brother Jason, who had personal stereo headphones apparently welded to his ears, told her that Chloe was a dogs' name. Somebody in their old neighbourhood had owned a mutt with that name. And it had peed up his leg and was a smelly old thing.

That dog was called "Woofer", Beverley insisted. Nope, their nana had called it "Woofer" but its proper moniker was Chloe, said Jason.

When Mrs Grice verified this at the dinner table, Jason smirked and Beverley stormed out in a strop. When she later asked her mother why she had called her Beverley (the girl HATED her name), Mrs Grice told her she might have had a spot of post-natal depression at the time.

Yep, soap operas were different back in the 1980s... All that, and not a serial killer or an explosion in sight...

Beverley Grice, played by Karen Murden.

30 Years Of The Mobile Phone

Nice brick, mateyboots! The DynaTAC 8000x - the very first hand-held cell phone on the market. The year? 1984!

Crikey! Go back thirty-one years to 1983 and you couldn't have owned a cell phone - and had probably never even dreamt of such a thing! Weird, eh?

Motorola unveiled the first hand-held cell phone, the Motorola DynaTAC 8000x in '83, but it wasn't commercially available until 13 March 1984! And it was a brick. Cellular technology had taken decades of research, Motorola had been involved since 1968, but it wasn't until 1973 that a test call was made on an even larger prototype phone (nicknamed "the boot"!). The "boot" was not designed for marketing.

"The first [phones] we made were a research product," recalls Rudy Krollop, Motorola designer. "The [first prototype] DynaTAC wasn't designed to be manufactured and mass produced. Plus, the FCC was giving us all kinds of problems, so to design something we could manufacture sucked up 10 years. We were very busy."

Several prototypes were made between 1973 and 1983 and then... bingo! Of course, here in England, you couldn't have got involved in the fun of wielding a brick until 1985 - the first UK cellphone call was made on 1st January that year - by comedian Ernie Wise.

Mr Yuppie proudly wields his brick in 1985.

Expensive, hefty things ("yuppie toys"!) and horribly analogue, they were still the start of a revolution. Of course, analogue was rather naff when it came to reception at times, but fear not - the 1980s had things in hand. The GSM system we currently use had been in development since 1982, and received approval in 1987. It was implemented in the 1990s.

Love 'em or hate 'em? I'm not that mad on 'em myself, although they DO have their uses.

But sometimes I wish it was 1983.

Rucked-up shoulder pads and a lovely mobile - all the rage for the yuppie set of the mid-to-late 1980s.

1982: Coronation Street Demolished!

Much changed in the 1980s. Contemplating the decade on New Year's Eve 1989, I found it hard to visualise the way life had been in 1980. But Coronation Street demolished?! Surely even the 1980s wouldn't have gone that far?!!!

Well, they certainly did, folks, in 1982 - the year of the Falklands War, deelyboppers, a strange man sitting on the Queen's bed, and the first appearance of body popping on Top Of The Pops. In the photograph above we see the Rovers Return, then home to Annie Walker, and Number 1, then home to Albert Tatlock and the Barlow family, coming down.

Mrs Walker would of course have flared her nostrils at the spectacle and probably developed a migraine. Mr Tatlock, no doubt, would have resorted to a good old grumble (no diversion from the norm there then), but what was happening? WHY was the Street being demolished? Well, if you launch a search of this blog you'll find the answer - complete with some newspaper coverage from the time!

In the meantime, we'd just like to say: "Eee, Mrs Walker, this beer's a bit dusty, ent it?"

Howard and Hilda talk '80s

Howard and Hilda Hughes in the 1980s.

We asked Howard and Hilda Hughes, two of the stars of that searing 1980s suburban life documentary series Ever Decreasing Circles (1984-1989) what they thought of the decade...

Hilda: "Well, I was in the Wrens back then (giggles). I think I quite liked Lonnie Donegan."

'80s Actual: "That was the 1950s, actually."

Howard: "Oh dear, Hilda (laughs), you got it a bit wrong there old girl!"

Hilda: "Yes, I did, Howard!" Laughs as well. "The 1980s... we decorated the Polly Wally Doodle room I seem to recall..."

Howard: "Yes, we did, Hilda. A lovely shade of pastel pink."

Hilda: "Yes! Oh, that was lovely, Howard. And we had all that trouble with the buddleia ."

Howard: "That's right, dear. It got a bit out of control, didn't it?" (Laughs)

Hilda: "It did, Howard!" (laughs too.) "Wasn't that when we made our basketwork Neddy?"

Howard: "It was Hilda. I think we should try working in basket again."

Hilda: "Yes, it was fun, wasn't it?"

'80s Actual: "That's all very interesting. But what did you think about the popular culture of the 1980s?"

Hilda: "The Shipping Forecast was very good back then."

Howard: "It was, Hilda."

Hilda: "And the rosehip syrup. I don't think it tastes the same these days."

'80s Actual: "Did you participate in the fashions of the decade? Deelyboppers? Power dressing? Shell suits?"

Hilda: "Well, I made some lovely jumpers and cardigans. Quite a lot of them were matching - Howard and I like to be matching sometimes, don't we, Howard?"

Howard: "We do, dear."

Hilda: "And I like knitwear - it keeps the draughts out. I've got a back, you see."

'80s Actual: "Er, yes... What about the political scene of the 1980s? What did you think about Reagan and Thatcher? The miners' strike? Clause 28? Perestroika and Glasnost? The Fall of the Berlin Wall and the end of the Cold War?"

Hilda: "I never discuss politics. Nasty things. Cause a lot of disagreements. My father was always very strict about that. We never do, do we, Howard?"

Howard: "Do what, dear?"

Hilda: "Discuss politics."

Howard: "No, dear."

'80s Actual: "Oh. What about the sporting scene? Botham and Becker? Lineker and Steve Davis? Zola Budd?"

Hilda: "Well, I remember that little beast at the World Cup. That "hand of God" thing. Was that when you're talking about?"

'80s Actual: "Yes, 1986."

Hilda: "Oh, well, we remember that, don't we Howard?"

Howard: "We do, dear. And I played a lot of cricket of course. And tried my hand at snooker. You could say I was something of a sportsman back then."

Hilda: "Yes! And I knitted the jumpers for the cricket team! We had that lovely wool shop in the high street back then. It's closed now of course. It's one of those coffee places now."

Howard: "Yes, it is."

'80s Actual: "What about pop music back then? Do you remember Adam and the Ants? New Order? Pet Shop Boys? Erasure?"

Howard: "No, I don't think we do, old boy. We liked Sing Something Simple though."

Hilda: "Oh, yes! We used to sing along, didn't we, Howard? Every Sunday afternoon. We always looked forward to that."

Howard: "Yes, we did, dear."

Hilda: "The neighbours must have thought we were a bit of a rowdy house when that was on. We got quite carried away at times!" (giggles).

Howard laughs.

'80s Actual (sighing): "So, is there anything else you remember from the 1980s?"

Hilda: "Well, [lowers her voice] I attacted a poltergiest. I know it was then because I kept a diary. I bought it at WH Smith's - it had a lovely pink pelican on the front cover. Hardback. I bought it because I wanted to see if there was any pattern to the supernatural activity, you see. 1989 it was."

Howard: "I don't think it was really a poltergeist, Hilda."

Hilda (getting slightly indignant): "Then how do you explain my little wooden windmill? Me predicting the Red Devil? What happened at the supermarket?"

Howard: "Don't distress yourself, Hilda. That was a long time ago."

Hilda (calming): "Yes, you're quite right, Howard. And we have a guest. I'm sorry, Howard. I'm sorry, Mr Actual."

'80s Actual: "That's fine. I think I should be going now. Thanks for answering my questions - I'll definitely feature you on the blog."

Hilda: "Would you like a nice cup of tea before you go? Rosehip syrup? A nice muffin with zero cholesterol butter perhaps and some of my homemade jam?"

Howard: "I can really recommend Hilda's cherry."

'80s Actual: "No, no, thanks - I really must go. Thanks again. It's been really..." (leaves quickly). Standing on the garden path at the front of Howard and Hilda's house, our '80s Actual "journalist" hears a voice inside the house drifting out of the open window:

Howard: "Shame we unpicked Neddy's ears, wasn't it?"

Hilda: "That was nervous tension, that was, Howard Hughes."

Howard: "Yes, it was, dear. Still, we could always fetch him down from the attic and re-basket them, couldn't we?"

Hilda (enthusiastically): "Yes, we could, Howard. That would be wonderful. And we could put him in the Polly Wally Doodle Room with the gramophone."

Howard: "And people say retirement can be boring! We've never found that, have we, Hilda?"

Hilda (giggling): "No, we most certainly have not, Howard!"

They laugh together.

Pause. Then:

Hilda: "Howard, is there such a word as 're-basket'?"

'80s Actual hastens away.