"Shall I Take You To A Restaurant That's Got Glass Tables..."

The piccy shows a 1980 sew-on patch. Why don't we ever hear the likes of Mirror In The Bathroom on the radio these days?

"I'll Spread Manure In Your Bed Of Roses...

FANTASTIC!!

Oi - Rude Boy - don't forget yer titfer!

1980 was a seriously Ska'd year.

The 70s interest in the 60s scene brought about the creation of bands like the Jam, the film Quadrophenia and a revival of Mods and Rockers style. 1979 saw a ska revival bubbling up in the charts. Although Ska was a revival, the groups had a very turn-of-the 80s attitude.

Madness were very much part of the scene when they first charted in September 1979, but soon brought us their very own "Nutty Sound", incorporating elements of Ska, fairground music and other things. The Madness logo seen above seemed to be everywhere in the early 1980s.

The Dukes of Hazzard - "Yee-Harrggh!!"

Bo, Luke, Daisy and the good ole General Lee feature on the front of this American "Dukes of Hazzard" bubble gum packet - copyright 1980 WARNER BROS. INC.

Bo and Luke Duke aimed to keep Hazzard County the sort of place that good ole boys would want to live in.

The Dukes of Hazzard began on the BBC in 1979, which was also its American debut year. In 1980, the Beeb placed the show in its Saturday teatime slot and it became a legend.

Liquid Gold: "Dance Yourself Dizzy - This Is Dynamite..."

"D-D-D-D-D-D-Dizzy!" I love this thing! Liquid Gold tried to make Eurovision 1981 for us, but were beaten by Bucks Fizz .

Kelly Marie: "My Head Is In A Spin My Feet Don't Touch The Ground..."

In the promo for Feels Like I'm In Love, Kelly Marie was seen dancing her way around London with two jolly sailors. Later, she was seen on stage performing the follow-up, Loving Just For Fun, with a couple of tight-trousered men doing some robotic dancing. So men took a back seat for a change.

Kelly recently recalled doing a performance way back then with no underwear on. Her knickers had got caught in her boiler suit zip, and, as she was in a hurry to get on stage, she simply changed into her next outfit and went on minus the entangled garment.

Those were heady days.

The Birdie Song and Dance...

Yep, 1981 was the year of the Tweets, who brought us the Birdie Song with its accompanying dance - and we were all at it...

Benny really set the Crossroads Motel Christmas party aflame when he did it...

Forget John Travolta - this is Birdie Dance Fever ...

... whew... cookin'...

Butlin It Once And You'll Do It Again...

Sir Billy Butlin died in 1980, and Butlin's introduced us to a new catchphrase: "Butlin it Once and You'll do it Again". The TV ad song still haunts to me this day!

Captain Beaky: "Hissing Sid Is Innocent!"

These are the bravest animals in the land!

"Captain Beaky" - the book!

From the 1981 Captain Beaky annual.

More Captain Beaky 1981 annual fun.

We had a lot to thank Keith Michell for in 1980....

He sang that funky little groover Captain Beaky - the record - and illustrated that sizzling best seller - Captain Beaky - the book!

Captain Beaky - the sheet music! Remember "Hissing Sid Is Innocent, OK?!"

The bravest animals in the land are Captain Beaky and his band
That's Timid Toad, Reckless Rat, Artful Owl and Batty Bat

They march through the woodlands singing songs
That tell how they have righted wrongs

Once Hissing Sid, an evil snake, kept the woodland folk awake
In fear and trembling every night
In case he gave someone a bite

Said Artful Owl, 'We'll lie in wait
And one of us will be the bait."

Said Captain Beaky, "Have no fear!
For I alone will volunteer!"

"No, make it me!" Said Reckless Rat
"I'll stand there in my reckless hat

When Hissing Sid picks up my trail,
I'll just lasso him with my tail!"

"Oh, good idea" said Timid Toad,
"We'll hide a long way down the road.
And when you've overcome resistance,
We'll rush along to your assistance."

Said Batty Bat, "I've got a wheeze!
I'll fly and hide up in the trees!
If Hissing Sid should slither by
I'll drop a boulder from the sky!"

Said Artful Owl, "The idea sound… how will you lift it off the ground?"

Poor Batty Bat just scratched his head,
"I hadn't thought of that," he said.

Said Owl "The rest of us hold back - There's only one that he'll attack."

Said Timid Toad, "I like your plan."
"Good luck," said Owl, "For you're the man!"

So Timid Toad, his eyes a-popping,
Into the woodland night went hopping

Captain Beaky waved his hand, followed by his trusty band
That's Artful Owl and Reckless Rat, and above the trees flew Batty Bat.

"Stop!" Said Beaky, "I hear squeaking!"
"It's Batty Bat" said Owl, "He's speaking!"

"It's all in code," said Reckless Rat

Said Owl, "I'll just decipher that."

"A dash, a dot, two short, two long…
I rather think we've got it wrong.
It reads 'can clearly see the road,
Hissing Sid has captured Toad!'"

"Quick men!" said Beaky, "No delay!
You mustn't let him get away!"

And leaping off, said "Follow me!"
And ran head first into a tree.

"Dot dot dot" squeaked Batty Bat.
Said Beaky, "Quick! Decipher that!"

Said Reckless Rat, "Perhaps we're gaining?"

"No," said Owl. "He says…it's raining"

Oh, how they ran to save poor Toad,
For they must find that snake's abode

Guided by old Batty Bat
Dot dot go this way dash, go that!

Then Hissing Sid's lair they spied
Were they too late? Was he inside?

Said Reckless Rat, "I'll get a pole
And stop him going down his hole!"

Then into sight the snake came hopping,
Right past his hole, no sign of stopping
Said Reckless Rat, "That's rather funny,

"There's something jumping in his tummy."

Said Captain Beaky, "Well I'm blowed!
Hissing Sid has swallowed Toad!"

And as the snake hopped out of sight,
Off they chased into the night.

At last they found him, tired and dizzy

And pulled out Toad, who said "Where is he?
For left alone, I felt quite sick,
And hopped into a hollow stick"

Said Owl, "A clever step to take!
You jumped into that slippery snake."

"That was brave of Toad", said Rat
"That's just my sort of plan!" said Bat

Said Captain Beaky to his men,
"Well we'll not see Hissing Sid again!"

And as they marched off down the road,
They sang in praise of Timid Toad

Above them flew ol' Batty Bat,
With his wings stretched out, like that
Owl's idea, the clever fella
To have a flying um-ber-ella

The origins of Captain Beaky stretched back over twenty years. The name came about because the author, Jeremy Lloyd (creator of Are You Being Served?), was nicknamed “Captain Beaky” at school because of his rather long nose.

Over a period of twenty years, Mr Lloyd scribbled down various short poems on the backs of envelopes, film scripts and in letters to friends - featuring such characters as Dilys the Dachschund, Harold the lonely frog, and Captain Beaky and his band.

In 1977, a book of these poems was published, and an album of music was released. The music was written by Jim Parker. The album featured such stars as Peter Sellers and Twiggy, but neither book nor record sold well. The band’s rise to fame in 1980 was brought about after Radio One DJ Noel Edmunds heard Captain Beaky on Junior Choice and played it on his own show.

Captain Beaky, the single, charted at No. 40 in February 1980 and had soon crashed into the Top Ten, reaching No. 5.

I well remember the impact. I don't personally believe that Hissing Sid was innocent, but the slogan cropped up everywhere, sprayed on numerous brick walls, scrawled on school exercise books, inscribed on car stickers, badges...

My mate Pete and I had a bit of a ding dong about it.

Said Pete: "Sid was probably asleep - with his mouth open. Toad said he hopped in voluntarily, thinking Sid was a hollow stick."

"Rubbish," said I, or words to that effect. "Hissing Sid was out to capture Toad - it was a trap!"

"You know your trouble, mate? You always think you're right!" said Pete, huffily.

"Huh! That's rich comin' from YOU!" I sulked...

In retrospect, it seems the controversy might have been a symptom of an endearingly whimsical streak infecting the general population.

Or were we just stupid?

Thanks, Joan...

Joan Armatrading's 1980 album, Me, Myself, I.

In 1980, I "got into" Joan's music. I'd heard her Love And Affection track a few years previously and then, aged ten or eleven, had immediately denounced it as "soppy". But times change. At Christmas 1980, this album was a present from a very mean old family friend.

This woman was known as "Auntie" to the kids in my family, and her meaness was legendary. On her daughter's 21st birthday, "Auntie" gave her a bottle of scent she'd had for Christmas the year before.

I suspected that the album I received had been an unwanted present to "Auntie" as well (her musical tastes didn't stray much beyond Dana and Sleepy Shores), but I'd enjoyed the track Me, Myself, I when it had charted, so put the record on. And that was it. I was hooked. I bought some of Joan's other albums and she helped see me through some turbulent teenage times.

Thanks, Joan. Thanks, "Auntie"!

On The Eighth Day...

"Heeeere's Hazel!" Oower, missis!

I never actually saw Breaking Glass, although I recall Hazel O'Connor going absolutely barmy in the video for her single The Eighth Day. I think that footage actually came from the film. I dunno about breaking glass - she looked like she could smash her way through reinforced concrete.

A film I do remember from 1980, as an under age visitor to the local flicks with some schoolmates, was The Shining. "Heeeere's Johnny!" Of course me and my mates weren't scared. Nah, 'course not.

Honest.

John Lennon Killed...

John Lennon had commented in an interview shortly before his death: "Weren't the '70s a drag?"

He recorded a new album, Double Fantasy in 1980, and seemed to be making a comeback.

But it was not to be.

There's No One Quite Like Grandma...

And here's the St Winifred's School Choir with There's No One Quite Like Grandma. This record is often slated today, listed in "worst ever" record polls and so on. But it's certainly no worse than Clive Dunn's Grandad some years before. My own Gran thought it was wonderful and the copy she was given for Christmas was her favourite present that year. She was of a less cynical generation, you see!

St Winifred's School Choir reached the No 1 spot in the chart week ending 27/12/1980. My own seasonal favourite that year was Jona Lewie's Can You Stop The Cavalry - which peaked at No 3.

Mary Bradley waits at home, in the nuclear fall out zone...

1981 - Synths, Cubes, Cats, Space Shuttle, Only Fools, Duran Duran, Birdie Dance, "YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!", Walkmans, Space Invaders, the PC & CBs

It was a terrific year for the still evolving synth sound, with Visage, Depeche Mode, The Human League, Ultravox and Kim Carnes all providing great listening material.

In the early 1980s, synth pop songs often had weird lyrics. Visage's Fade To Grey was heavy with atmosphere, and the line "Feel the rain like an English summer" definitely needed no explanation, but what was the song about? Pass. Or what about the Cure's 1983 hit The Walk: "I saw you look like a Japanese baby, in an instant, I remember everything." Uh?! I didn't mind. I loved weird, mind stretching lyrics, and the whole mood and atmosphere of the synth pop era. It was great to move to as well.

The pop group Duran Duran formed in 1978. In May 1980, Simon Le Bon and John Taylor joined and in 1981 they were futuristic dandies, taking over the charts, their every movement eagerly followed by a growing band of dedicated Duranies.

New Romantics were big news.

Toyah did well with her terrific image and peculiar brand of middle class Punk music.

The first London Marathon was run.

The great Rubik's Cube shortage ended in the spring, the country was now fully stocked, and the children's programme Tiswas launched a new campaign - SOC - "Stamp Out Cubes". The Cube was everywhere and was voted Toy of the Year for the second year running.

I remember being in a bus shelter with a gang of my mates during 1981. It was pouring with rain, but we "woz" all right in the shelter. One of us had brought their trannie (this was before ghetto blasters) and we all had our Cubes. We twirled them, listening to the likes of Stand & Deliver, which we all loved, and finally one of "der" lads cried: "I've done it! I've done the Cube!" And he had. Or at least one face of it. That was the closest any of us ever came to it.

Rubik's Cube contests between schools began. We were long-time rivals with the other comprehensive school in our district, so, when a Rubik's Cube contest was arranged between us in June 1981, we were absolutely determined to win. Our main hope, a boy called Andrew, was amazingly fast - his hands would become a blur of movement and, hey presto, the Cube would be completed in well under a minute. So we were optimistic. But disaster struck. Andrew was "off sick" on the day of the contest, and we had to send a substitute. We lost, and, to make matters worse, we were beaten by a girl. We never really lived it down.

 Still, Rubik's Cube provided inspiration for one of the funniest new TV ads of 1981. Hamlet Cigars with their famous "give up whatever you're doing and have a puff to the strains of Bach's Air On A G String" series, added a Cube-themed version. A pair of hands (actually belonging to English mathematician and cube wizard David Singmaster) were seen completing the cube in less than a minute. Then, each face of the cube was surveyed and guess what? One square was obstinately out of place. The match was struck, cue music and... "Happiness is a cigar called Hamlet..." 

CB radio was legalised on the 2nd of November and shops immediately sold out of the first British models as the public went CB crazy.

Norfolk turkey farmer Bernard Matthews came up with his "bootiful" advertising phrase in 1980 and the first of the fondly remembered TV ads was screened in 1981.

"Midnight, not a sound from the pavement..." The Andrew Lloyd Webber musical Cats made its debut.

Royal Wedding fever struck and Charles and Diana even had the honour of appearing on a Rubik's Cube.

Riots erupted in several inner cities, inspiring the Specials' haunting song Ghost Town.

In America, the first space shuttle was launched on 12th April. Another 1981 American launch was MTV.

The march of the "Women For Life On Earth", from Cardiff, Wales, to Berkshire, England, in August/September 1981, was the origin of the Greenham Common Peace Camp.

Concerns about the possibility of inappropriate spending of dinner money were voiced as the increasingly popular Space Invaders machines were installed in recreation areas at certain schools.

Donkey jackets and 'Y' (Yale) cardigans started coming into fashion.

John McEnroe got into trouble at Wimbledon and gave us a new catchphrase "YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS! THE BALL WAS IN!" Joe Dolce had us all shouting "SHADDUPPA YA FACE!" and the Walkman name appeared in this country for the first time. Cliff Richard carried one in the roller disco-based video for Wired For Sound. By 1983, personal stereos were becoming a must have. Roller discos had been a growing trend in America since c. 1979.

Phones became a little more mobile on 19 November 1981 as BT brought in their new-style plug and socket phones, still in use today - which made movement and replacement of house phones quite a lot easier!
 
Noele Gordon was sacked from her role as Meg Mortimer in Crossroads. The pivotal character in the serial since its beginning in 1964, Noele left in November and the oh-so-familiar reception area, on screen since the motel's refurbishment in the late 1960s, burned down.Noele, known to her friends as "Nolly", then appeared on Russell Harty's chat show, sang a song called Goodbye, and got all tear sodden. Oh dear.

Bucks Fizz won the Eurovision Song Contest for the UK with Making Your Mind Up.

Did YOU do the Birdie Dance in 1981? Many people did, including Benny in the Christmas edition of Crossroads; Ronnie Corbett stepped into sitcoms with Sorry and some viewers found Thomas Magnum, PI, "quite dishy".

Only Fools And Horses was the start of a TV classic, and Dangermouse and Willo The Wisp were great kids' telly. Postman Pat and Mr Spoon, bound for Button Moon, arrived for the little'uns.
"Watching us." "Watching you." "Watching us." "Watching you." Yes, it was Sarah Kennedy, Jeremy Beadle and Henry and Matthew Kelly with Saturday teatime "treat" Game For A Laugh.

Bullseye began. "Well, you can't beat a bit of bully, can you?" said Jim Bowen. Many of us agreed.

IBM introduced the first true PC - designed to be an "affordable business machine". Still pricey to the average person, but they would catch on later.

"And now I'm all alone in bedsit land, my only home..."

The "Fabulous Soft Cell" actually were pretty fabulous in my opinion.

"Government Leaving The Youth On The Shelf..."

We'd had over a million unemployed in Britain since the early 1970s. Rising to around one-and-half million by 1979. Now, in 1981, it was over two million and rapidly rising and the government did not appear, to many, to give a damn. All the Tories cared about was bringing inflation down. Inflation itself was in a dire state several years before Thatcher came to power, of course. 

The brilliant Ghost Town by the Specials, on the famous Two Tone label, captured the mood of frustration and decay - and Lefty 'paint the mood as grim as possible' wordings tried to convince you to vote Labour next time around. But the 'Do you remember the good old days before the ghost town?' lyrics struck hollow. We'd never danced and sung in a 'boomtown' in the financially dire 1970s, whichever party was in power. However, in the 1980s, Thatcher appeared to be to blame for everything. And the blame was often deserved. But the lyrics didn't always make sense. When the '80s boom happened a few years on, the Lefties denounced boom towns as being disgusting. Flipping heck, what a conundrum the 1980s were...

A newspaper advertisement for a new branch of Tandy's, December 1981. Just look at those (now) prehistoric computers - click on image for closer view!

Shaddap Your Face!

No 1 in England and Australia - this is the German single. The Joe Dolce Music Theatre seemed to be EVERYWHERE!!

Here in England, we were all shouting "Shaddap Your Face!" for yonks.

Daft times - happy memories!


Some of us even wore the badge...

Castrol GTX - Liquid Engineering - and Flora - The Margarine For Men

Remember the ad on the telly? This silent version appeared in the Daily Mirror in May 1981.

Good old Flora! It was nice that something was for men!

"The Oldest Swinger In Town..."

Fred Wedlock was, of course, The Oldest Swinger In Town.

I now know the feeling.

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If They were Me and I was You...

Wickedly spoofed by Pamela Stephenson on Not The Nine 0'Clock News, Clare Grogan and her Altered Images pals didn't care. I liked them - especially Don't Talk To Me About Love. I liked Pam's spoof, too.