1980: Hissing Sid Is Innocent! Or Was He Guilty?

Back, back, to the beginning of the 1980s - to the far away year of 1980 - and Captain Beaky and his Band.

The bravest animals in the land.

Timid Toad, Batty Bat, etc, etc.

What a surprise that the record should get into the Top Five, and what a surprise that it should spark a national obsession with that lovable/loathsome snake, Hissing Sid.

Hissing Sid Is Innocent (occasionally Hissing Sid Is Guilty) was daubed on flyovers, brick walls, public lavatory doors, exercise books - just about anywhere there was space to daub.

1980 was soon awash with books, badges, and a follow-up record - The Trial Of Hissing Sid. Was he innocent? I can't remember.

Seeing the two badges pictured brings it all back to me.

We were seriously potty.

Read our main article on the wondrous work of Jeremy Lloyd and Keith Michell here

1981 - Mr Rubik - The Barron Knights

 

The Barron Knights gave us the album Twisting The Knights Away in 1981, and reflected the year's main craze on the cover and in one of the tracks - the Rubik's Cube! The Cube blasted out from behind the Iron Curtain, Hungary to be exact, where it had been known as Magic Cube, to become Rubik's Cube in 1980 - re-manufactured to Western World safety and packaging norms.

Small numbers of Magic Cubes had seeped into the West, but there were never enough to spark any major craze, and the Magic Cube was not pliable enough to allow speed cubing, which would become a major feature of the Rubik's Cube craze. The small seepage of Magic Cubes caused some confusion and even the mighty BBC to slip up in its 'I Love...' series, when it claimed the Rubik's Cube arrived in the UK in 1979. It did not actually exist then, and the small numbers of Magic Cubes which seeped over here via a small niche puzzle company largely passed unnoticed. Just check out any UK newspaper archive. The BBC was inundated with complaints and moved the Rubik's Cube to 1980 on its 'I Love...' website. 

As the series had also goofed with the space hopper (UK newspaper articles reveal it was a huge craze from the time of its release in the spring of 1968 and not thrilling and new in 1971) and several other items, pop culture historians now approach the series with extreme caution.

But in the case of the Rubik's Cube, the BBC can't be wholly blamed: rather misleading tales that the tiny niche puzzle company Pentangle in England launched the Magic Cube in the UK in 1978 had been circulating since the early 1980s - taking no account of the tiny numbers available and the Magic Cube's differences to the 1980 Rubik's Cube. As we say, the UK newspaper archives are a great recorder of past crazes, as are magazines of the time.

From the cover of the Sunday Times Magazine's review of 1981 - the Year of the Cube in the UK.

Sadly, the 1980 Rubik's Cubes were also in woefully short supply at first. Although the trademark was registered in the UK on 7 May 1980, the first of them did not arrive until later in the year - and still stocks were low. In the spring of 1981 more Cubes arrived. The craze flamed, and was so ferocious that the colourful little object become one of the main icons of the 1980s. 

Hear the Barron Knights' humorous Rubik's  Cube song below, with some clever modern day Cube animation that just suits the mood - and evokes very powerfully the spirit of 1981! Mr Rubik was, of course, the puzzle's inventor, Erno Rubik, and much more can be read about the Cube by clicking on our "Rubik's Cube" label below.

Memories of 1983 - Jimmy The Hoover - Tantalise...

I've been thinking a lot about 1983 lately. I have my reasons! But a good one I can share with you is the fact that the summer of 1983 was much nicer than this one! And tangled up with the memories of that summer is the refrain "Wo Wo Ee Yeh Yeh" - courtesy of Jimmy The Hoover, an English pop band which had formed in 1982. Seems so strange to think that 1983 is thirty years ago. I'm getting old! But the memories of my youth remain strong and stop me from feeling TOO old! By the wonder of YouTube, enjoy Jimmy The Hoover above.

Paul McCartney And The Frog Chorus: We All Stand Together...

Remember Paul McCartney and the Frog Chorus? The song, of course, leapt up the pop charts. Smash Hits interviewed one of the stars in their Bitz section back in December 1984 ...

The London Borough of Finchley is not only the constituency of Margaret Thatcher, but also the home of Hamish the Frog who, along with his two younger brothers Ian the Frog and Keith the Frog and the artistic assistance of Paul McCartney, has created a record that is positively hopping up the charts. 

"We All Stand Together" by Paul McCartney And The Frog Chorus is the fulfilment of a lifelong ambition for Hamish, Ian and Keith.

"We've been croaking and humming since we were tadpoles," explains Hamish. "We began with the odd gig down the local aquarium, then we graduated to more, er, prestigious venues - boating lakes, swimming pools etc."

The talented trio - actually they were a quartet at the time but fourth member Steve the Frog mysteriously disappeared only days after the opening of Marcel's French Bistro on Finchley High Road - first came to the attention of Fab Macca last year. The Frogettes were playing an open-air free festival (in Greenpeace) at a Sussex duckpond near the McCartney home. Also on the bill were Spawndau Ballet, Howard Toads and Barry Manilow. Macca, impressed by their "energy and commitment", invited them along to "do do a session" and the single was born.

So what was it like working with a living legend?

"You mean Rupert the Bear?" croaks Hamish.

No, no, no. We mean Paul McCartney.

"OK," shrugs Hamish, "but we don't just want to do novelty records. Our tastes are a bit more, er, radical than Paul's."

What does he mean exactly?

Hamish scowls. "Every year three million frogs are slaughtered and their legs amputated for the eating pleasure of the bourgeoisie," replies Hamish, hopping mad by this point. "The tragic death of our brother really brought this home."

Hamish wipes a tear from his eye, warns "Bitz" to expect something a bit more "hard-hitting" for their next single and hops off home to the luxury Finchley fish tank the brothers have just bought with their royalties.

There goes a frog who does not mince his croaks.

Agadoo doo doo...

Good old Black Lace. Try it after a couple of pints! I confess to singing along to this, doing all the movements and having a thoroughly good time more than once. I'm quite happy to confess to this as you don't know me and we're not likely to meet!


All together now - 


"Agadoo doo doo, push pineapple shake the tree
Agadoo doo doo, push pineapple grind coffee..."

Interviewed in 1984, Colin Routh of Black Lace, said:

"Our manager found Superman in Europe. It was a hit there some time back. And one night we were playing in a nightclub and someone came to us and said is Agadoo going to be your next single? We thought it was the name of a disease or something. Anyway, he explained it was a record by the Saragossa Band, made for the people at Club Mediterranean, the holiday firm. It's also been a hit in Germany a couple of times, originally being released in 1967. So we thought it was a good idea to do an up-to-date version of it."

Thanks, lads!


In 1986, Spitting Image took revenge with the Chicken Song.

1987: Star Trekkin' Across The Universe - On The Starship Enterprise Under Captain Kirk...

  

Look-In, 18 July, 1987: Lt Uhura - "There's Klingons on the starboard bow, scrape 'em off, Jim!"
-

Ah, the glories of pop chart music in 1987! One of my favourite years ever. No, I'm not thinking about H..H...H..House Nation, Pump Up The Volume or even the mighty It's A Sin, although I loved all three. Nope, this post is dedicated to Star Trekkin' by The Firm. Yep, there are definitely Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow...

 Mr Spock: "It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain."

This brilliant novelty song made Number 1 in the UK pop charts and was simply a great larf. Sorry, I mean laugh.
 

It was the work of The Firm - Grahame Lister, John O'Connor and Rory Kehoe, who had brought us the sublime Arthur Daley ('E's Alright) in 1982. The group turned their attention spacewards in '87 and the result was a whole lot of fun.

 

 Starship Captain James T Kirk: "We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, we come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, men!"

No record producers were interested in the song, so The Firm released it themselves on O'Connor's Bark Records label. Ya cannae change the laws of physics, and the song shot into the stratosphere, spending two weeks at No 1 in the UK and selling over a million copies worldwide.

  

Dr "Bones" McCoy - "It's worse than that he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead, Jim, it's worse than that he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead."

A lovely summer and a great novelty song contributes to making 1987 (which would later send a terrible gale across part of England and a stock market crash which caused reverberations worldwide) now seem such a sweet memory...

Incidentally, Star Trek itself was going great guns at this time. The film series (which had begun so dismally in my humble opinion) had matured into a thrilling blend of must-watch adventures and droll humour, mixed with a few topical messages. My favourite, The Voyage Home, released in 1986, featured a strong environmental theme. Just as exciting for Trekkies, in America in 1987, Captain Jean-Luc Picard (so English-seeming with his cups of tea and played by English actor Patrick Stewart although the character was apparently - and I thought very puzzlingly - French!) was setting out on his first adventures with the Star Trek: The Next Generation TV series.

The Firm really "cleaned up" with Star Trekkin'...  And by the miracle of YouTube take a perilous voyage back to 1987 below - BRIDGE TO ENGINE ROOM, WARP FACTOR NINE!  ("I cannae give it any more, Captain! She'll blow!")

Orville's Song - And Beyond...

Charting on 25/12/1982 (what a Christmas present!), Orville's Song reached its chart peak on 15/1/1983 at No. 4.The song was written by pianist Bobby Crush.

Interviewed in the 1990s, Keith Harris recalled his heady days of pop stardom: 

"Bobby Crush wrote Orville's Song - I Wish I Could Fly - and we recorded it at Abbey Road Studios in 1980. I thought if Abbey Road was good enough for the Beatles, it'll do for Orville and me! The major recording companies laughed when I suggested we had a hit on our hands and Orville's Song was 'buried' for two years until it was released in 1982.

"It sold three quarters of a million copies, reached number four in the Top 20 and won us a gold disc.

"We appeared on Top Of The Pops. I don't know who was more gobsmacked - Orville and me or the groups on the same show. They couldn't believe they were sharing the same stage with a 'vent' and a dummy. Brilliant."

Some 1982/83 people sang a very unkind version of Orville's Song...

"Orful, who is your very best friend?"

"You are."

"I'm gonna help you mend your broken NECK!"

But then some people were/are just plain insensitive.

Some 1980 blurb on Keith Harris reveals that he had wanted to be a ventriloquist ever since he was a small boy. Apparently he'd worked all over the world and starred in TV programmes including Cuddles and Co, and two series of the Black and White Minstrel Show.

In 1980, Keith was sharing his home in Bournemouth with his wife, Shari, Orville the green duck ventriloquist puppet, and Cuddles - his ventriloquist puppet monkey. Keith's hobbies then included designing puppet characters, interior decorating and tennis. He hated violence and cruelty to any living creature.

For those wanting to follow in his footsteps, he advised: "Be original and have plenty of practice."

The Sunday Mirror article above, from 9 June 1985, contains concerns that some of Orville's material was rather too adult.

I never noticed that.

I couldn't stick Orville - green ducks with soppy voices were not and ARE not my thing, but my sisters (and my mum) loved him dearly. I think they still do!
What do I know, anyway? Cynical little swine...

Advertisement from the "TV Times", 1987.

Haysi Fantayzee

From the Daily Mirror, August 14, 1982:

Don't underestimate the hand-me-down appearance of Kate Garner and Jeremiah Healy, singers with rock group Haysi Fantayzee.

For it's their junk shop look that attracted the record companies when the group made their own promotional video.

And it led to a record contract and their current top twenty hit, John Wayne Is Big Leggy.

Jeremiah fondly remembers the video which the group put together for £150.

"I had a bass guitar on the end of an elastic strap."

I spent the whole time bouncing it up and down, just to show that I couldn't really play."

Both Kate and Jeremiah buy their clothes at second-hand shops and wear their hair in West Indian dreadlocks - a million miles away from the clean-cut, all-American style of John Wayne, the subject of their record.

But the group are keen to point out that despite the title, the hit isn't a tribute to him.

"People think because we've written a song with the name John Wayne in the title that we actually like him, but we don't," says the band's keyboard player Paul Caplin.

Kate says that none of the band have any real-life heroes.

"I used to have a few heroes until I met one at a party and suddenly discovered he wasn't very nice."

The kind of characters that the band look up to are fictional ones like Huckleberry Finn and many of Walt Disney's cartoon figures.

Jeremiah said: "People say we look like cartoon characters and we don't mind putting that kind of image across. We like to say serious things but in a cartoon-like way.

"We didn't set out to play cartoon music - it just turned out that way."

'80s Actual On Haysi Fantayzee - The Facts...

Jeremy Healy (or is it really Jeremiah?!) was a former Blitz Kid, and ex-schoolmate of Boy George. In 1981, aged 19, he joined forces with model and fashion photographer Kate Garner and her musician boyfriend Paul Caplin to form the weird and rather wonderful Haysi Fantayzee.

Paul had studied maths at Imperial College from 1975-1978. He had some musical success with New Romantic synth band Animal Magnet in 1981 (Welcome To The Monkey House - remember "I, I, Me, Me, Grab, Grab, Grab!!"?), then left to help set up and become a founder member of Haysi Fantayzee.

The Face magazine helped Haysi on its way in 1981. Says Jeremy:

"I had begun sprouting dreadlocks, which strangely enough was an excellent career move. It got my mostly imaginary group an article in The Face, and from that we blagged some demo time at EMI. Then we had to write something to record. At this time I was living in West Hampstead with Kate Garner and Paul Caplin in a flat he owned. I was the messiest person in the world with two feet of clothes covering the entire floor. Luckily the look was this Dickensian Rasta hybrid, so it didn't really matter that I was so raggedly turned out.

"Anyway it was here in this chaos that I found a little diamond. I wrote the lyrics for a silly song called 'John Wayne is Big Leggy'. It was an allergy for treatment of which the white settlers used, but on the Native American Indians. However, I wrote it like John Wayne having anal sex with a squaw. I thought this was hilarious! I've often been accused of having a childish sense of humour; I woke up everyone in the flat and announced I'd written our first hit record. We made our demos and shopped them around, and somehow, with our deranged songs and our strange looks, we landed our first record deal on my twentieth birthday."

Kate and Jeremy were the singers and front people of the band; Paul was mostly out of vision, writing songs and playing some instruments.

Quirky from the start, Haysi had traded on their distinctive fashion sense (dreadlocks meets hillbilly, meets circus master meets...) and sent out copies of Shiny Shiny as a low budget video and loads of publicity photographs to record companies. This was probably one of the first bands to win a recording contract largely on the strength of its visual image.

John Wayne Is Big Leggy charted in the UK in August 1982, and reached No 11. Follow-up Shiny Shiny charted in February 1983 and peaked at No. 16. These are the two songs which still haunt me (in the nicest possible way) to this day. But were they simply nonsensical cartoon pop? No, apparently not - it is said that Shiny Shiny was about the aftermath of a nuclear apocalypse and John Wayne has some distinctly saucy and edgy lyrics!

The album Battle Hymns For Children Singing was released to a mixed reception, and finally in late 1983, Haysi split to pursue individual projects.

Jeremy would soon resurface on the popular music scene: in 1987, he and Boy George got into the newly emerging Acid House sensation. The result of this was the E-Zee Possee song Everything Starts With An 'E', released in 1989 and a chart hit in early 1990.

A great unofficial tribute site to Haysi Fantayzee can be found here.

Alexei Sayle: 'Ullo John! Gotta New Motor? And Toshiba: 'Ullo Tosh, Gotta Toshiba?

Alternative comedian Alexei Sayle gave us novelty chart hit 'Ullo John! Gotta A New Motor? in 1984. Apparently originally released in 1982, the song bombed - Mr S. was simply not famous enough, it seemed. But, re-released a year or so later, it was a different story.

It sounded bloomin' awful and I loved it to bits.

Mr Sayle also had an album released in 1984 - The Fish People Tapes, based on a series called Alexei Sayle And The Fish People, broadcast on London-based Capital Radio in 1981. Both the radio series and record apparently featured a few digs at the Government.

Good job, eh?

One of the tracks included - That's Milton Springsteen - was a parody of the Jam's early 1980s song That's Entertainment.

'Ullo John was included on the album and was soon tweaked for a fondly remembered 1985 TV ad - "Hello Tosh Gotta Toshiba?"... or should that be "'Ullo Tosh..."?

Ian Dury provided the main voice over for the ad...

"'Ullo - ullo - ullo Tosh gotta Toshiba?

'Ullo Tosh gotta Toshiba?"

"That's an FST."

"RIGHT!!"

"That's an FST."

"RIGHT!!"

"It's the flattest squarest tube.
It's the flattest squarest tube."

And what did the flattest squarest tube give you? A flatter screen and sharper picture. It was a good development.

Return to the mid-1980s with the 'Ullo John! video and the Toshiba ad below...

Will Powers: Kissing With Confidence

"When our lips meet, will they fit right?" In a decade of wonderful pop gems, glittering oh-so-brightly is that quirky 1983 hit Kissing With Confidence by Will Powers. But who was Mr Powers? David Jensen's Saturday Spin page in the Daily Mirror, 17 September 1983, has all the details...

Don't be fooled by a new single that's getting a lot of airplay, "Kissing With Confidence" by a certain Will Powers. In a deep masculine voice Mr Powers poses such delicate questions as "Is your breath fresh?"

The surprising thing is that the singer is a She, not a He!

Top American photo journalist Lynn Goldsmith had her voice electronically altered through a gadget called a harmoniser.

Lynn, who has spent her life chronicling the antics of pop performers - she was Bruce Springsteen's girlfriend for a long time - decided to join them.

But it was on the condition that she could hide behind the mysterious Mr Powers.

I can't help wondering about the fun we'll have watching her trying to perform the single on "Top Of The Pops" if it's a hit.

It's already a favourite of Arsenal football club. They play it before their home games.

All together now:

"I put an end to worrying, I learned a way from Will. He taught me kissing with confidence is an acquired skill. When my boyfriends get too hot - I can cool 'em down, now I'm kissing with confidence everywhere in town..."

Mentioned in the clipping above is a Vince Clarke/Feargal Sharkey liaison, which was part of Vince's The Assembly project. The resultant song was It Never Happens To Me.

The Birdie Song and Dance...

Yep, 1981 was the year of the Tweets, who brought us the Birdie Song with its accompanying dance - and we were all at it...

Benny really set the Crossroads Motel Christmas party aflame when he did it...

Forget John Travolta - this is Birdie Dance Fever ...

... whew... cookin'...

Captain Beaky: "Hissing Sid Is Innocent!"

These are the bravest animals in the land!

"Captain Beaky" - the book!

From the 1981 Captain Beaky annual.

More Captain Beaky 1981 annual fun.

We had a lot to thank Keith Michell for in 1980....

He sang that funky little groover Captain Beaky - the record - and illustrated that sizzling best seller - Captain Beaky - the book!

Captain Beaky - the sheet music! Remember "Hissing Sid Is Innocent, OK?!"

The bravest animals in the land are Captain Beaky and his band
That's Timid Toad, Reckless Rat, Artful Owl and Batty Bat

They march through the woodlands singing songs
That tell how they have righted wrongs

Once Hissing Sid, an evil snake, kept the woodland folk awake
In fear and trembling every night
In case he gave someone a bite

Said Artful Owl, 'We'll lie in wait
And one of us will be the bait."

Said Captain Beaky, "Have no fear!
For I alone will volunteer!"

"No, make it me!" Said Reckless Rat
"I'll stand there in my reckless hat

When Hissing Sid picks up my trail,
I'll just lasso him with my tail!"

"Oh, good idea" said Timid Toad,
"We'll hide a long way down the road.
And when you've overcome resistance,
We'll rush along to your assistance."

Said Batty Bat, "I've got a wheeze!
I'll fly and hide up in the trees!
If Hissing Sid should slither by
I'll drop a boulder from the sky!"

Said Artful Owl, "The idea sound… how will you lift it off the ground?"

Poor Batty Bat just scratched his head,
"I hadn't thought of that," he said.

Said Owl "The rest of us hold back - There's only one that he'll attack."

Said Timid Toad, "I like your plan."
"Good luck," said Owl, "For you're the man!"

So Timid Toad, his eyes a-popping,
Into the woodland night went hopping

Captain Beaky waved his hand, followed by his trusty band
That's Artful Owl and Reckless Rat, and above the trees flew Batty Bat.

"Stop!" Said Beaky, "I hear squeaking!"
"It's Batty Bat" said Owl, "He's speaking!"

"It's all in code," said Reckless Rat

Said Owl, "I'll just decipher that."

"A dash, a dot, two short, two long…
I rather think we've got it wrong.
It reads 'can clearly see the road,
Hissing Sid has captured Toad!'"

"Quick men!" said Beaky, "No delay!
You mustn't let him get away!"

And leaping off, said "Follow me!"
And ran head first into a tree.

"Dot dot dot" squeaked Batty Bat.
Said Beaky, "Quick! Decipher that!"

Said Reckless Rat, "Perhaps we're gaining?"

"No," said Owl. "He says…it's raining"

Oh, how they ran to save poor Toad,
For they must find that snake's abode

Guided by old Batty Bat
Dot dot go this way dash, go that!

Then Hissing Sid's lair they spied
Were they too late? Was he inside?

Said Reckless Rat, "I'll get a pole
And stop him going down his hole!"

Then into sight the snake came hopping,
Right past his hole, no sign of stopping
Said Reckless Rat, "That's rather funny,

"There's something jumping in his tummy."

Said Captain Beaky, "Well I'm blowed!
Hissing Sid has swallowed Toad!"

And as the snake hopped out of sight,
Off they chased into the night.

At last they found him, tired and dizzy

And pulled out Toad, who said "Where is he?
For left alone, I felt quite sick,
And hopped into a hollow stick"

Said Owl, "A clever step to take!
You jumped into that slippery snake."

"That was brave of Toad", said Rat
"That's just my sort of plan!" said Bat

Said Captain Beaky to his men,
"Well we'll not see Hissing Sid again!"

And as they marched off down the road,
They sang in praise of Timid Toad

Above them flew ol' Batty Bat,
With his wings stretched out, like that
Owl's idea, the clever fella
To have a flying um-ber-ella

The origins of Captain Beaky stretched back over twenty years. The name came about because the author, Jeremy Lloyd (creator of Are You Being Served?), was nicknamed “Captain Beaky” at school because of his rather long nose.

Over a period of twenty years, Mr Lloyd scribbled down various short poems on the backs of envelopes, film scripts and in letters to friends - featuring such characters as Dilys the Dachschund, Harold the lonely frog, and Captain Beaky and his band.

In 1977, a book of these poems was published, and an album of music was released. The music was written by Jim Parker. The album featured such stars as Peter Sellers and Twiggy, but neither book nor record sold well. The band’s rise to fame in 1980 was brought about after Radio One DJ Noel Edmunds heard Captain Beaky on Junior Choice and played it on his own show.

Captain Beaky, the single, charted at No. 40 in February 1980 and had soon crashed into the Top Ten, reaching No. 5.

I well remember the impact. I don't personally believe that Hissing Sid was innocent, but the slogan cropped up everywhere, sprayed on numerous brick walls, scrawled on school exercise books, inscribed on car stickers, badges...

My mate Pete and I had a bit of a ding dong about it.

Said Pete: "Sid was probably asleep - with his mouth open. Toad said he hopped in voluntarily, thinking Sid was a hollow stick."

"Rubbish," said I, or words to that effect. "Hissing Sid was out to capture Toad - it was a trap!"

"You know your trouble, mate? You always think you're right!" said Pete, huffily.

"Huh! That's rich comin' from YOU!" I sulked...

In retrospect, it seems the controversy might have been a symptom of an endearingly whimsical streak infecting the general population.

Or were we just stupid?

Shaddap Your Face!

No 1 in England and Australia - this is the German single. The Joe Dolce Music Theatre seemed to be EVERYWHERE!!

Here in England, we were all shouting "Shaddap Your Face!" for yonks.

Daft times - happy memories!


Some of us even wore the badge...

"The Oldest Swinger In Town..."

Fred Wedlock was, of course, The Oldest Swinger In Town.

I now know the feeling.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If They were Me and I was You...

Wickedly spoofed by Pamela Stephenson on Not The Nine 0'Clock News, Clare Grogan and her Altered Images pals didn't care. I liked them - especially Don't Talk To Me About Love. I liked Pam's spoof, too.

I Eat Cannibals...

All I wanna do is make a meal of you...

... If we are what we eat, you're my kind of meat...

Remember those lyrics from Toto Coelo? I Eat Cannibals was a smashing piece of pop fun. You disagree? Suit yourselves, but I loved it then and love it now... oh sweet memories of youth!

In the USA, the group was known as "Total Coelo" after MOR group Toto made noises about the "Toto" part of Toto Coelo.

Back to those lyrics...

Hot pot, cook it up - I'm never gonna stop

yum yum, gee it's fun - I'm banging on a drum...

One member of Toto Coelo had a father who had been a celebrity for years, and whose career was shortly to receive a major boost...

... yep, band member Ros Holness was the daughter of Bob Holness, who would be appearing on the highly successful telly quiz Blockbusters from 1983 onwards.

In 1982, Bob was a radio newsreader and, for both his daughters, "P" was for pop...

From The Sun, September 1982:

Radio newsman Bob Holness has become pop's top pop.

Both his daughters, Carole and Ros, have records in the charts, although the former Radio One DJ, who is now the star of Independent Radio News, did not want the girls to have pop careers.

Ros is in the group Toto Coelo, whose record "I Eat Cannibals" is at number nine, and Carole, better known as Nancy Nova, has a single "No, No, No," hovering in the lower reaches.

Holness says: "They were both trained as actresses and I tried to steer them away from the pop business, but my guidance had the opposite effect.

"Now I'm rather pleased about their success. You can't really be worried if they succeed."

Carole was also in the original Toto Coelo until she broke away for a solo career.

"Hold A Chicken In The Air, Stick A Deckchair Up Your Nose..."

"NEW! Non Compact Mono Recording". The 12 Hour Version - featuring the Wet Gits! The Chicken Song from Spitting Image was a scathing spoof of several chart records of (then) recent years (anybody for Agadoo?).

The Chicken Song was a 1986 No 1 - deservedly. All together now...

It's the time of year
Now that spring is in the air
When those two wet gits
With the girly curly hair
Make another song for moronic holidays
That nauseate-ate-ate-ates
In a million different ways
From the shores of Spain
To the coast of southern France
No matter where you hide
You just can't escape this dance...

Hold a chicken in the air
Stick a deckchair up your nose
Buy a jumbo jet
And then bury all your clothes
Paint your left knee green
Then extract your wisdom teeth
Form a string quartet
And pretend your name is Keith

Skin yourself alive
Learn to speak Arapahoe
Climb inside a dog
And behead an Eskimo
Eat a Renault Four
Wear salami in your ears
Casserole your gran
Disembowel yourself with spears

The disco is vibrating
The sound is loud and grating
It's truly nauseating
Let's do the dance again...

Hold a chicken in the air
Stick a deckchair up your nose
Yes you'll hear this song
In the holiday discos
And there's no escape
In the clubs or in the bars
You would hear this song
If you holidayed in Mars

Skin yourself alive
Learn to speak Arapahoe
Climb inside a dog
And behead an Eskimo
Now you've heard it once
Your brain will spring a leak
And tho' you hate this song
You'll be humming it for weeks...

Another goody from the 1986 charts - it's our old mates Chas n' Dave n' the Matchroom Mob...

Snooker loopy nuts are we, me and him and them and me, we'll show you what we can do with a load of balls and a snooker cue...

Here's Su Pollard, good old Peggy from Hi-De-Hi!, charting in February 1986 with Starting Together, the theme to the BBC's documentary (I don't recall us using the term "docusoap" back then) The Marriage.

Nick Kamen strode into a launderette, got his kecks off, and set hearts fluttering. Then he hit the pop charts...

"Wow!!" went just about all the nation's girlies. And a lot of the fellas too, I shouldn't wonder.

"Break my heart, don't break my heart, break my heart, don't break my heart..."

Nick aided men's health no end: for years, medical types had been warning us geezers that our increasingly skimpy briefs did our fertility no good at all. We had not absorbed the message by the early 1980s (see here). But Nick's wearing of those staggeringly wonderful, brilliantly roomy, startingly attractive boxer shorts in the jeans ads helped to propel that style of male knickers to the centre of the style universe. Or somewhere near it. In the late 1980s, boxers were increasingly being seen as a very lovely thing indeed. Even Sinitta liked her toyboy to wear them. See here for more.

Personally, I wouldn't be seen dead in 'em. I'll never be a style icon.

"John Kettley Is A Weatherman And So Is Michael Fish!"

This song, which entered the charts in December 1988, could get stuck in your head on "repeat play". It did in mine - all through my long saved for and much looked forward to holiday in Morocco in February '89. I was "not a happy bunny", as a saying of the time would have it...