Smash Hits: Always Read The Black Type First...

Howard Jones and a lovely brolly (£2-99 - a snip!) star on a 1985 "Smash Hits" cover...

Lovely freebies...

Mid-1980s "Smash Hits" hilarity...

Black Type was essential reading for me in the 1980s. The Smash Hits letters pages were loaded with the drollest of droll wit and irony and I'd beg a look at my younger sister's copy of that worthy mag every time I visited my parents' house. Once I even wrote in and had a letter published myself.

To me, the 1980s were a fabulous time for music. I loved the polished pop, the synth era, the evolvement of rap into the Hip Hop scene, the beginnings of House music, Acid House, and the Dance and Rave scenes.

But I certainly had no desire to drool over pop stars and booster their (often) already massive egos. In the 1970s, we kids got into pop young and I had a cousin who subjected the whole family to her dreadful fixations with the likes of Donny Osmond, the Bay City Rollers and John Travolta.

"Oh, Andy, Woody writes to his Mum every week - isn't he sweet!" (or some such tosh) she'd squawk as she clutched the latest "must-have" fan mag. And it really got on my nerves.

So, I developed a healthy cynicism about pop stars and pop music at an early age. My cousin didn't. As a young married mum in the mid-1980s, she was squawking: "Ooh, Jon Bon Jovi! Did you know that's all his own hair?! He's sooo lovely..." etc, etc, etc.

But my tongue was firmly in my cheek when it came to the pop scene (although I adored a lot of the music) and the Smash Hits letters pages were heaven for me as they often left the subject of pop far behind (how do you spell achtuwarly?).

Black Type, the mysterious letters page editor, who seemed like a bit of a wally, would often wax lyrical about his latest obsession (who would it be this week? Una Stubbs? Bonnie Langford?) and there were enthralling exchanges about Harpic Bleachmatic Duo ads. Amongst other things.

In fact, the whole tone of Smash Hits back then was just sooo droll (remember ' "pop" "star" Simon Le Bon'?), nothing could ever compete. Ever. And on top of all that the mag had Neil Tennant (pre-Pet Shop Boys fame) on its journalistic staff.

Wonderful.-------------

Desperately Seeking Susan, Griffin Of The Midland Bank And The One And Only Frank Sidebottom...

Madonna was definitely one of the biggest "movers and shakers" of mid-to-late 1980s pop music. I went to see her in "Desperately Seeking Susan". I can't remember much of what the film was about, but I still love the featured track (and hit single) "Into The Groove" - complete with "urgent '80s break beats". I read that last bit in a record review. I can never think of clever, informed things like that to write. Shame.

Richard Briers was the voice of Griffin - and what a lot you got if you signed up with the Midland - "the Listening Bank".
Frank Sidebottom was... well... rather strange. He appeared on things like No 73 and, if my memory serves me well, once attempted to mend the lawn mower for his mother. 

He failed, and tried to flush the incriminating bits and pieces of mower workings down the loo.
He also made Frank's Firm Favorites.

Sadly, Chris Sievey, the man behind Mr Sidebottom, died in 2010. Read our tribute to Chris and Frank here.

A-ha

A-ha's Take On Me was a great song which was accompanied by a very innovative video, linking animation with live action. In retrospect, an unexpected bonus is the "Nice Cold Ice Cold Milk" advertisement on the cafe wall in the video. Remember the full slogan? 

"Milk Has Gotta Lotta Bottle - Nice Cold Ice Cold Milk!"

The Gotta Lotta Bottle ads began in 1982. More here.

Ah, nostalgia!
 
Help - I'm getting sidetracked!

In the Take On Me video plot, a young girl was swept off her feet by a dashing young man straight out of the comic strip she had been reading. In the final scenes, the man, played of course by A-ha lead singer Morten Harket, struggled to manifest himself in the real world to be with his love. And succeeded.

But it was only temporary. The video to follow-up hit The Sun Always Shines On TV briefly returned to the girl/comic strip hero scenario to reveal that the guy could not maintain his existence outside the pages of the comic. He fled from the girl, and appeared to explode into nothingness in the distance (perhaps returning to his fictional state?), leaving the girl heartbroken.

The A-ha lads, Morten Harket, Magne Furuholmen and Pal Waaktaar, revealed a few facts about themselves in a 1986 interview...

"We got together in the summer of 1982 but the object was to come to Britain from day one," remembered Morten."We got some songs together, did some recording in a cabin in the woods and left for England on 2 January 1983."

The three of them expected to be snapped up by a record company and they hoped to have a summer hit single that year. But nothing happened.

Eventually they ran out of money so Mags and Morten went back to Norway to work and raise more money before heading back to England.

The three of them eventually became so poor that they could only afford a single light bulb in their tiny flat. But they stuck it out and in the end got a recording deal.

Their debut single "Take On Me" flopped the first two times it was released here. However, after making it to Number One in the American charts it became a hit all around the world.

Even though they have been so successful, Mags says they haven't changed. "We have no great ambition. We just live day to day."

Talk Talk - Bringing Back The '80s...

Talk Talk formed in 1981, and their music has the ability to lead me back to my '80s youth... so that I can almost touch it. Almost be there.

But not quite.

Those rough-edged, highly turbulent but still much simpler days are gone.

Forever.

Above you'll find Talk Talk's 1982 hit Today... I was seventeen... wore a donkey jacket for fashion... worked as an office clerk... played on the CB... smoked, went to discos and down the pub. I didn't have a ZX Spectrum. Nerdy rubbish. Computers were just a passing fad anyway...



And on to 1984... It's My Life... no more office clerking... now a Social Services Care Assistant... wanted to CARE, do something MEANINGFUL... I was idealistic AND cynical... booze, nightclubs and sex ruled my free time...



1985: Life was what I made it... great friends and loads of laughter, sex and music and dancing and booze and hair gel and cheap flash clothes - tweak those shoulder pads, push up those sleeves... Mobile phones? Yuppie toys - they'll never catch on!... pose at the Nite Spot... sink eight pints of Stella...

And then, suddenly, completely out of the blue, I fell in love - properly in love for the very first time - and my life slid totally out of my control...

1985: Live Aid

After Band Aid in 1984, 1985 gave us Live Aid - the Global Juke Box - the 12 hour pop marathon, watched by an estimated 1.5 billion people worldwide...

The events took place at Wembley Stadium, England, and the John F. Kennedy Stadium in Philadelphia, USA, on 13 July 1985. It was a massive event, unparalleled in rock history.

You'd got your ticket...

You'd got your T-shirt...

And suddenly you were there...

...with Charles and Diana, Bob Geldof, U2, Spandau Ballet, Nik Kershaw, Sade...

... Freddie Mercury and Queen... and oodles of other notables.

Yes, it had been a pain queuing for the loo; yes, it had been grotty when the girl in front of you had stepped back on to your big toe... but you still went home in a blissful daze...

It had been a day of colour, light, sound, energy... a day that made rock and pop history... a day that saved lives...

And if you were at home, watching the spectacle on the telly, it was still a fantastic experience...

Even via the small screen, Live Aid was pure magic.

Bob Geldof (referred to as "Sir Bob of Geldof" in certain quarters) had been driven, a man possessed by his dream right up to and, indeed, throughout the concert (remember his cussin' and blindin'?).

The 1980s - the decade of greed?

With the launch of the Children In Need telethon on the BBC in 1980, the Band Aid single in 1984, Live Aid in 1985 and Comic Relief - which was launched in late 1985 - that cannot be correct.

Greed unlimited is far from being the true picture.

The 1980s was the decade of contrasts.

Madonna on-stage in Philadelphia, experiencing rucked-up shoulder pad syndrome.

How the Sunday People reported events - 14/7/1985:

A thunderous roar erupted when the Greatest Rock Show on Earth got under way yesterday with the arrival of Prince Charles and Princess Di.

And the Royals raved it up with the rest.

Princess Di was clearly thrilled to meet her pop idols as the couple were introduced backstage to 60 of the stars.

And as Prince Charles watched the jean-clad rock fans enjoying the party, he said:

"I'll have to buy myself a pair of denims."

Part of the show at the preliminaries was stolen by two-year-old Fifi Trixie-Belle Geldof, daughter of Boomtown Rats star Bob, who masterminded the event.

She was supposed to present Di with a bouquet, but fled, overcome by shyness.

The royal couple clapped and tapped their feet along to the music.

Nearly two billion people were estimated to have tuned into the extravaganza.

The £10 million target for the twin Live Aid concerts at Wembley Stadium and Philadelphia could eventually be trebled when the cash is totted up from donations, TV rights and souvenir sales.

Geldof summed it up: "To me it is not a pop concert. To me it is not a TV show. To me it is simply a means of keeping people alive."

Quotes from the day:

Gary Kemp, of Spandau Ballet, who arrived by helicopter: "It was the most incredible sight from the air. Quite wonderful. This is going to be the greatest audience in history. It won't happen again, ever, at least not with this generation of performers."

U2 vocalist Bono: "The money spent on defence could turn the deserts of Africa into fertile land. The technology is with us... but the technocrats are not."

Run DMC, England, 1985!

Run D.M.C. hailed from New York's Queens district. Their involvement as youngsters with the underground club scene placed them in a good position when the rap scene began to blossom into the hip-hop scene in the 1980s. "Sucker M.C.s" and "It's Like That" had been dance hits in America earlier in the decade, and soon Run DMC were merging rock with rap on releases like "Rock Box".

In early 1985, they performed at Buzby's in London.

All for freedom and for pleasure, nothing ever lasts forever...

"You Spin Me Right Round, Baby, Right Round, Like A Record, Baby, Right Round, Round Round..."

Pete Burns - dressed to impress. This was guaranteed to drive me manic on the dance floor.

Oh look- it's Tarzan Boy by Baltimora. "Tacky"? Yep. "Pop pap"? Yep. I love it.

The First Cut Won't Hurt At All, The Second Only Makes You Wonder...

After the shuddersome brilliance of Dr Mabuse in 1984 ("Sell him your soul! Sell him your soul!")...

... the wonderful German group Propaganda was back with Duel in 1985.

The illustration above, and the first illustration below, are taken from the sleeve for the 12 inch vinyl version released by ZTT in England in 1985.

In the main group photograph above are (left to right): Michael Mertens, Susanne Freytag, Ralf Dorper and Claudia Brücken.

From the sleeve notes:

Michael Mertens: writing, programming, identifying, demonstrating. Ralf Dorper: writing, pursuing, defining, translating. Claudia Brücken: singing, writing, corrupting, raging. Susanne Freytag: embracing, accumulating, singing, demanding. This is Propaganda: their ambition is to make some repairs. What motivates them? Error, and terror.

Both Mabuse and Duel are epic 1980s electro pieces...

It's too late
The decision is made by fate
Time to prove what forever should last...

Chilling, yet so, so wonderful...