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Charlotte writes:
I admire your blog alot and luv spending time here. I was wondering about something a bit on the obscure side from the 1980's. The highly revolutionary BROOKSIDE soap did a couple of spin-offs late in the decade, and while most viewers remember DAMON AND DEBBIE, the other one, SOUTH, seems to have been forgotten. I remember it being about Tracy Corkhill, who was the daughter of Doreen and Billy, and the sister of Rod "The Plod". Do you have any material about this program?
Hi, Charlotte! Glad you like the blog. As far as this TV show is concerned, I only have the above TV Times page from March 1988, which details the start of South as part of the English Programme, an educational show for schools. It was the tale of Tracy (Justine Kerrigan) and Jamie (Sean McKee) trying their luck down South. I've also included another TV Times piccy for the Brookside episode that day, featuring the wonderful Ralph Hardwick (Ray Dunbobbin) and Harry Cross (Bill Dean) "ironing out problems" back in the Close!
Glenda Banks (Lynette McMorrough) is thrilled to hear from the hospital that the time has come for her to try for a test tube baby. Her mother, Kath (Pamela Vezey), after initial doubts, shares Glenda's joy.
I watched Crossroads. I admit it. It's no use blaming my mother. Sure, she introduced me to the show when I was still in nappies, and as a child it became as much a fact of life as dawn and dusk.
But when I left home in 1983, I continued to watch it.
It was on at a handy time of night - 6.35 pm, and I'd view as I was getting my dinner if I'd had a late finish at work, or getting ready to go out. I'd be gelling my hair and pushing up my jacket sleeves whilst discovering that Mr Paul was a spy or that Valerie Pollard had sent her daughter a poison pen letter or that David Hunter had just fathered a love child or that Kate Hamilton couldn't remember whether she'd murdered her lover or not or that Benny had ESP, etc, etc, etc, and I could never leave my flat without seeing the final little cliffhanger scene after the closing credits.
It's easy to slag off Crossroads, but I always found it homely and good hearted, daft or not, and I liked it - although I never discussed the fact that I watched it with anybody else. Towards the end, it became a well produced, brilliantly written social comedy, then ITV took it off. Go figure!
But back to 1983, and with the show still having five years to run, I was deeply involved in the lives of David and Barbara Hunter, slimy Mr Paul, the deliciously rich and bonkers Pollard family, Jill Harvey and Adam Chance, Miss Diane and Benny, Sharon Metcalfe, Sid Hooper and Joe MacDonald from the garage, and the Brownlow/Banks family.
The show had always featured topical and controversial story-lines (not in the Brookside/EastEnders league, but stirring for their times) right from its '60s beginnings. 1982 had featured a story about racism, then started a new and highly topical story which ran throughoout 1983.
After years developing the technique, the first test tube baby had been born four years previously, but in 1982 the concept still seemed startlingly new and perhaps rather odd to many of us plebs. But it was an ideal storyline for one Crossroads character.
Oh, how Glenda Banks wanted a baby!
But she couldn't have one.
Until the notion of having a test tube baby entered her head...
And then, despite her mother Kath's doubts about the method ("interfering with nature!"), husband Kevin's doubts about having a child at all, and her mother-in-law Sally Banks' horror at the social implications (Whatever would her friend Bunty say?!), Glenda became a woman with a mission. Her grumpy father, Arthur, surprisingly supported her, but as he was bumped off in a hit and run car accident in late 1982, Glenda was soon on her own again. But, having walked out on Kevin to get him to agree to becoming a test tube parent before her father's untimely demise, Glenda was now on the road to fulfilling her desperate need for a baby of her own.
It wasn't easy to raise the brass.
But finally she found herself in hospital, all systems go. And she was lucky - her very first attempt at conceiving via in vitro fertilisation was successful.
And then the real world objected...
Daily Mirror, October 24, 1983:
Crossroads was attacked last night for giving TV viewers the idea that it is easy to have a test-tube baby.
Waitress Glenda Banks, played by actress Lynette McMorrough, is due to have a test-tube baby in January.
But a group representing couples who are desperate to have children claims the soap opera storyline is far from the truth.
Peter Houghton, director of the National association of Childless Couples, said: "It is totally unrealistic because it makes the whole question of test-tube babies seem easy."
Brenda Holliday, the association's administrator, has sent a letter of protest to the producers.
She said: "Our members are disgusted because they have been through the terrible heartache of waiting for a baby and then they see a show like Crossroads which makes it seem so easy.
"If the Crossroads team knew what many couples suffer through spending years on waiting lists and going through the anguish of not conceiving they might realise why so many people have been infuriated by Glenda's test-tube baby."
A spokesman for Central TV, which makes Crossroads, said: "Our scriptwriters carried out a great deal of research. They are making this part of the plot as authentic as possible."
Hmm... well, Glenda was only on the waiting list for a short time...
But in defence of Crossroads, upon her arrival at the hospital, Glenda met a woman called Rachel who had had several unsuccessful attempts at conceiving via in vitro fertilisation, and experienced another failure whilst Glenda was there.
There was at least some attempt to balance Glenda's good fortune.
And it was nice to see the Brownlow/Banks family enjoying a happy storyline. They didn't have many.
1988 - Griff Rhys Jones, Lenny Henry and Jonathan Ross take part in the very first Red Nose Day.
Did you wear your red nose today? '80s Actual Towers has been fair bristling with the things! Comic Relief was, of course, launched on Christmas Day 1985 with a live report from a refugee camp in Sudan, and the first Red Nose Day was held on 5 February 1988.
Recently, Lenny Henry wrote about the first Red Nose Day back in 1988, and how it has changed since then:
"Comic Relief these days is much more in line with shiny-floor shows like The X
Factor – fast, zappy, presenter-led – but we were just asking everybody to
be kind and help. We had live entertainment from comedians such as the
Goodies and pre-recorded films from Africa, but lots of comedians discovered
it was very difficult to do live comedy with an audience that has just
watched somebody die. I went to Ethiopia for one section where we filmed a
row of Ethiopian men in their tribal gowns. The camera panned along them and
the voice-over said, 'Please give us some money; poverty can affect somebody
you might know.’ The last person on the row was me, dressed in the same
tribal gown. For the first time it wasn’t just an image of a starving child
with a big belly and flies crawling all over their face – it was somebody
that the audience knew.
"There is a lot of fear bound up in comedy – 'How will I be funny? Am I going
to be the funniest?’ – but since we were all aiming at the same target there
was a bullish vibe. Everything went wrong, of course – the autocue stopped,
someone tried to do some magic and it didn’t work, Frankie Howerd came on
and wouldn’t stop talking – but people were really moved by the films. I
thought that if I made people laugh, and donate, then maybe the kids I
visited in the Kibera slum in Kenya wouldn’t have to live in a room with a
sewer running down the middle of it. We raised £15 million that night, which
was a big deal."
Time to celebrate a very special birthday! Roland Rat was born in the sewer under King's Cross Station on 12 March, and made his TV debut on 1 April 1983. He freely admits to being a licensed character, and boasts that because of this he still looks the same as he did in the 1980s. Wish I did!
Makes me feel a tad old to realise it, but 1983 is now thirty years ago. It was a year like no other. In fact all '80s years were unlike no other. But 1983 is a truly stand-out twelve months. Why? Hip Hop bringing along a wave of new-fangled break dancing to the '80s party? The world's first hand-held cell phone, the Motorola 8000x, being unveiled in America? Shergar vanishing? Bonnie Tyler giving us Total Eclipse Of The Heart? Breakfast TV starting? New Order being brilliantly innovative with Blue Monday?
It can be said that all those things were important, but they pale into insignificance beside the arrival of a fabulous new superstar.
Yeeaahhh!!!
The posey young decade had already introduced us to many new stars by 1983: Depeche Mode and Eurythmics had both formed in 1980; Boy George had made his chart debut in 1982, and, as one of my aunties said, didn't seem to know whether he was Arthur or Martha; U2 had finished tuning up and were belting out some fabby rock tunes by 1983; the New Romantics had arrived in 1980 ("To cut a long story short, I lost my mind..."); Madness were in their golden era; Simple Minds had changed direction with their New Gold Dream and were really making the '80s grade; Grandmaster Flash and The Furious Five had knocked our socks off with The Message; a Flock Of Seagulls had given great synth pop and hair inspiration; the Human League and Duran Duran had both formed their classic line-ups in 1980... but the decade still lacked a style icon. A superstar. Somebody who would lead the way.
Then HE
came along, the one, the only Roland Rat, rescuing the ailing breakfast TV station TV-am in one fell
swoop, and lighting up goggle boxes across the land...
Number 1 Ratfan Kevin the gerbil came scurrying down from Leeds to join his hero at the very beginning of Roland's fame in 1983, and has been there ever since. Kev loves the colour pink and is pictured here in a very 1980s pink and grey sporty outfit. He adores pink buckets, and hoards them obsessively. He was thrilled to dress up as Julie Andrews for a production of "The Sound Of Music".
Roland was the '80s celebrity to top all '80s celebrities - charismatic, justifiably egotistical, brash and gobby, er, I mean highly honest, he, like Elvis, had a hairy chest, and his presence on any TV show was likely to produce an hysterical response from viewers.
The increasingly sophisticated 1980s scene was no problem for Roland. As he rapped in Rat Rapping, "la de dah, la de dee". He took it all in his stride - truly a superstar par excellence. He said.
Roland also introduced us to his pals - including his No 1 fan, pink bucket-loving Kevin the gerbil.
He delighted '80s children (and some discerning souls like me who were slightly older!) with his TV-am and BBC shows - including Rat On The Road and Roland Rat - The Series.
An all-rounder, Roland turned his hand to TV and music. Remember "Rat Rapping"? Remember "Love Me Tender"? Remember Kevin the gerbil's version of "Summer Holiday"? Mmmmm... glory days, when music really WAS music! This is a publicity poster for Roland's 1980s classic "Cassette Of The Album". In the pic are Roland, Kevin, Roland's little brother, Reggie, and Errol the hamster. No sign of Glenis the adorable guinea pig. I'll have to find some pics of her to up-load!
Roland loved his rat fans. As he said, they recognised his talent and the void he filled in their lives, and he respected them for that. He still does.
And, also respecting his fans' desire to buy Roland-related merchandising, he quickly launched Roland Rat Enterprises, unleashing a tidal wave of cuddly toys, jigsaws, spaghetti shapes and other goodies, all snapped up by the adoring millions.
From his humble TV beginnings in "The Spectacular ShedVision Show", broadcast from a shed on the roof of the TV-am building in 1983, Roland quickly scaled the heights of superstardom. Here he is with Kevin on the cover of "Look-In", the junior TV Times, embarking on a new series of "Rat On The Road". This was, in Roland's own words, a "rodent travelogue" and featured Roland and Kevin visiting various cities around the UK. The old Ford Anglia car they travelled in, dubbed the Ratmobile, cost £85 and Kevin chose the bright pink colour scheme. Roland thought it was rubbish.
And what has become of the mighty rodent since the 1980s? Well, there's been no descending into a decrepit old age for Roland. These days, he spends much of his time in the USA, and he and his friends all have their own Facebook pages (where we recently learned, via Kevin the gerbil, that Errol the hamster had returned some leeks to the supermarket as they were "substandard").
This year, Roland made a triumphant return to England and breakfast TV.
Roland's comments and observations in more recent years have, as always, been priceless nuggets of wisdom. He told Anne Robinson, horrid person of The Weakest Link, that, being a licensed character, he still looked the same as he did in the 1980s - which was more than she did! And, after all the naff (and often highly inaccurate) TV nostalgia shows in the BBC's I Love... vein, Roland appeared on Trisha and commented that people were just desperate to feel nostalgic about "any old rubbish".
As Roland himself might say, he's a true geni-arse.
And we love him.
See our first Roland Rat feature here.
Time warpin' back to 1982... Remember Dunk, Crunch, Bixie, Brian and Brains?
"OK?!" squawks Brian, whilst Dunk glowers...
Brains and Bixie are horrified by a "titchy" breakfast...
One of the fondest remembered TV ad campaigns of the 1980s has to be the Weetabix bovver... er... bix, railing against "tichy" breakfasts and telling us in no uncertain terms that you make it "neet wheat, mate!" Well, if you know what's good for you, you do...
These memorable characters, created by Trevor Beattie (now also known for fcuck, amongst other things), stomped into our lives via the "goggle box" (telly!) in March 1982, and the ads then swept through the rest of the 1980s, finally ceasing in November 1989.
I became aware of them when my little sister became a fan. When she was ill in 1984, I wrote to the "Weetabix gang" at Weetabix HQ for her, and the company sent her a huge package of Weetabix gang posters, felt tips, pictures to colour and other goodies - all free, gratis and for nothing.
It was a much appreciated act of kindness on the part of the company - my sister was quite seriously unwell at the time, and anything that brought a smile to her face was very welcome indeed.
And soon little sis was happily enrolled in the Weetabix Club!
"Computers are OK once you show them who's BOSS!" I never thought that computers would be a part of my life back in the 1980s - although the home computer era was beginning, I preferred Stella Artois and plenty of Nite Spots.
The ad on the right reflects the roller disco fad of the 1980s...
Crocodile Dunkdee... love it! And Choose Your Own Adventure books - popular with many 1980s children. Notice the kids fleeing from the dragon in the illustration are riding BMX bikes!
A word about the WeetOlympix stickers on the right... these have a copyright year of 1984, but this does not refer to the actual year of the stickers themselves - or perhaps they were issued twice! I have reason to remember that they were issued in the run-up to the 1988 Seoul Olympics simply because me and a group of friends, sharing a flat from 1987-1988, collected the stickers and stuck them to the inside of the food cupboard door. We had terrible trouble completing the collection - Bixie was simply not to be found for ages!
Two of the WeetOlympix stickers - Brains Throwing A Mile and Dunk Clearing The Stadium Wall.
More fun and games...
"Are you Robin Hood?" "No, I'm Robbin' your Breakfast!" Brilliant! And energy for BMX riding comes from a WBX start!
Many thanks to Peter Gray's Cartoons And Comics blog for providing the comic ads!
ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED 2010. UPDATED MARCH 2013.
Several wonderful comments and e-mails - thanks, folks! Glad a few people are reading '80s Actual!
Andrew (another Andrew!) asks:
Out of all the icons of the 1980s, what is your personal top?
Has to be the Rubik's Cube. Its launch, less than a year into the decade, and the ferocious craze that consumed 1981 are etched on my mind. The '80s and the Cube go hand-in-hand. Forever associated with my mid-teens and the getting-underway of the happiest era of my life.
Paul writes:
In her song Anything Can Happen, Ellie Goulding refers to the "Wreck of '86", the year she "knew the panic was over". It was the year she was born, and since then she's found out that anything can happen! 1986 is seen as a wrecked sphere submerged in the sea in the video accompanying the song. It's a long time ago, isn't it? Makes me feel sad and old. The song has a brilliant '80s synth sound to it though.
Who on earth is Ellie Goulding?! :))
Sandra says:
I enjoy your blog. Its an unashamed celebration of the 1980s and I certainly have a lot of fond memories. I know eighties fashions and music are back in vogue, but why do you think the decade is so maligned by some?
In a nutshell, Thatcher and Reagan. I find it hilarious because, although I was an ardent Labour supporter and wouldn't have stopped a bus for Maggie back then, there is no way that the decade is to blame for all the ills of today. I was a care worker from the early 1980s until 2008 and the cutbacks imposed in England by the New Labour government caused me to leave and seek employment elsewhere. Getting in a froth about Maggie/Ronnie is simply a lazy and priggish exercise in my view. That era is long gone. And pretending the 1970s were Sunnybrook Farm is laughable. There are many things which need addressing now that were unimaginable in the 1980s. And besides, the '80s were colourful, zesty, fascinating, and multi-faceted!
And Keith asks:
Do you remember where you were and what you were doing when the 1980's began and ended?
That's an interesting question! Do you really want to know?
Yes?
OK, here goes...
How The 1980s Began...
Picture it, December 31, 1979... a decaying council house somewhere in England... no central heating... kitchen a prefab - condemned for years - slowly detaching itself from the house - the wind penetrating the gap... mouldy bedroom walls... metal framed windows at front... draughty wooden sash windows at the side and back - no double glazing... a housing estate that was truly a "sink estate" long before the term was coined... my parents were throwing a New Year's party - theme: "Welcome To The 1980s!"
The day did not promise well for the 1980s. The '70s had often been a nightmare for many of us - naff, brutal and sex-obsessed, but the oft-repeated promise on ITV on New Year's Eve 1979 that Paint Your Wagon was to be the big film for New Year's Day 1980 did not indicate any improvement. I mean, Paint your flaming Wagon! The "big film"! Can you imagine?
I was fourteen and in awe of the approaching decade. At the end of the 1980s I'd be twenty-four. It seemed an unimaginable leap. I'd be absolutely grown-up. Where would I work? Would I be able to find work? Who would I be with? What was sex like? What strange new trends would the 1980s bring?
Back to 1979, and I looked around our grim little house - even the Christmas decorations could not hide the fact that we lived in a dump. And as for the "mod cons"! No VCR, of course - only 5% of UK homes had them in 1980, so in 1979 we had no hope. No mobile phones. No computers - we regarded computers as being for boffins. Couldn't imagine what the future held there - I never dreamed they'd be at all relevant to people like me. No microwave. Never even seen one. Our TV was black and white. And we weren't "on the phone". Only one house in our street was.
Mum had Coronation Street on as she put the sausages-on-sticks out, and Elsie Tanner commented: "Well all I can say is it's been a bad ten years!"
Too right, Mrs T!
The party got underway, the air thick with fag smoke, revellers plying me with drink - "Come on, Andy! Have a little!" But I didn't fancy it. My step-father and his pals were decked out in their finest 1950s gear. Of course, the 1970s had played host to a huge 1950s revival, but my stepfather and his pals had got there before the '70s got underway, all being mournful at having missed the '50s. They'd been children then - too young to participate in the fashions.
The music was naff. My mother loved Lena Martell's One Day At A Time, and it was played about eight times. Rockabilly Rebel by Matchbox also did sterling service on the turntable. The rest was a ghastly concotion consisting of the likes of Elvis, Charlie Pride and Jim Reeves. Making plans For Nigel was sadly absent.
The guests got progressively more and more sozzled... and the 1980s arrived.
We sang Auld Lang Syne and then, about twenty-five minutes into 1980, I was shocked rigid to discover... but, whoops, I can't go into that! Sorry!
At our house, the first day of 1980 passed with repercussions from the shocking incident which had taken place in the opening half-hour of the new decade, hangovers galore and, of course, the threatened Paint Your Wagon.
Nipping to the other end of the '80s... in the meantime, computers had begun to seem relevant, Reagan had come and gone, Maggie had won two more terms, Microsoft Windows had arrived, as had the first commercially available computer mouse and satellite TV, a raging torrent of crazes had gripped us (including Rubik's Cube, Pac-Man, deelyboppers, Trivial Pursuit and Dancing Flowers), DNA fingerprinting and the C5 had been invented, the mobile phone had made its debut, Big Bang had banged, Chernobyl had gone into meltdown, riots had raged, yuppies had arrived, swanked and sought dosh, the microwave oven and the VCR had moved into the ascendency, CDs had arrived and the World Wide Web had just been invented but was yet to become on-line reality...
Back to me...
How The 1980s Ended...
Picture it, December 31, 1989... a shared flat... quite pleasant, quite modern - built in 1980! The windows weren't double glazed, but it was centrally heated... I was "on the phone" and had a colour TV (a black FST model!). I was in my bedroom listening to the radio, which was belting out various pop hits of the '80s for New Year's Eve.
"The '80s are dying now," commented the DJ.
What a gloomy thought, thought Andrew.
I was getting ready to go to a friend's party - a theme party - the theme being "beachwear". I had decided to pretend I hadn't heard about the theme thing and attend in some nice '80s flash trash - specifically the Miami Vice look, my favourite chic of the decade.
I wasn't looking forward to the 1990s. The "great and the good" had been telling us how bad the 1980s had been for us for some years before the decade ended - conspicuous consumption, image over content, etc, etc, blah, blah, blah, but I couldn't see that. I'd been so earth-shatteringly poor at the beginning of the decade (and, indeed had grown up in poverty), and the highly honest, brash glitz and posturings of the mid-to-late decade had been a great pleasure to me, socialist though I was. As had all the controversy. The '80s had turned into a bloody battle between Left and Right and I'd found the whole thing had made me feel alive.
Then, 1987 had sent shock waves through the yuppie world with Black Monday.
And 1988 had given Thatcher the collywobbles with Acid House.
It was said that the 1990s would make up for the "greedy" 1980s - we would be wearing lots of plain white clothes and women would be carrying handbags made out of recycled cardboard - or some such. That didn't happen and I found the 1990s to be a major disappointment - a long dark night of apathy, revisionism, greed and hypocrisy which continues to this day.
Don't be offended, '90s fans - we're all entitled to our opinions!
Anyway, back to the point.
Let my diary tell you about the end of the 1980s as I lived it - with a name blanked out to protect the (not so) innocent:))
The party was fine. I spent a lot of the evening with my tongue stuck down _____'s throat. The clock struck twelve and the '80s became the '90s. It was as simple as that.
Here's Neneh Cherry giving us her BRILLIANT Buffalo Stance and sporting a pair of 1980s doorknocker ear- rings.
'80s ear-rings were often a nightmare - there was the putrid, coloured plastic variety; the axe head variety (looked very brutal indeed) and the studded doughnut (often black, but appeared to be studded with metal- went well with studded black lycra).
And then there was the doorknocker.
Who's looking good today?
Who's looking good in every way?
Er, Neneh, I hate to tell you...
But back in 1988 Neneh looked very, very trendy indeed.
They met in August 1981. And Neil Tennant and Chris Lowe made a Docklands development-sized impact on the mid-to-late 1980s popular music scene - rich in electronics and deliciously droll irony...
Had an enquiry from Phil:
Hi! I enjoy your 1980s site a lot and have a little question for you. In 1986 I loved the Pet Shop Boys hit "Opportunities Lets Make Lots Of Money". I have searched it out on YouTube and heard some great versions of the song, but I'm sure they are not the same as the version in the UK charts in '86. I seem to remember it being faster and even more electronic. Am I right? And if so, where can I find the chart version?
You are right, Phil! There were several mixes of this song. I have the UK chart entry mix on a 1986 compilation cassette - Now That's What I Call Music 7 - and it has a harder, faster, dancier sound. Do look out for copies of Now 7 on on-line auction sites. Of course, there is no CD version. Perhaps the NOW people might consider rectifying that situation with a release of all the pre-CD NOWs on that format for the thirtieth anniversary of the launch of this legendary compilation series?
1983-2013 - thirty years!! Doesn't seem possible...
Now That's What I Call Music 7 - 1986. The Pig had gone (last appearance Now 5) and for this outing we had a very different design. But then we were S-H-O-P-P-I-N-G. Neil and Chris filled us in in 1987:
No questions in the house, no give and take
There's a big bang in the city
We're all on the make
We're S-H-O-PP-I-N-G, we're shopping
We're S-H-O-PP-I-N-G, we're shopping
Our gain is your loss, that's the price you pay
I heard it in the House of Commons: everything's for sale
Feel the Quality!
Remember Paul McCartney and the Frog Chorus? The song, of course, leapt up the pop charts. Smash Hits interviewed one of the stars in their Bitz section back in December 1984 ...
The London Borough of Finchley is not only the constituency of Margaret Thatcher, but also the home of Hamish the Frog who, along with his two younger brothers Ian the Frog and Keith the Frog and the artistic assistance of Paul McCartney, has created a record that is positively hopping up the charts.
"We All Stand Together" by Paul McCartney And The Frog Chorus is the fulfilment of a lifelong ambition for Hamish, Ian and Keith.
"We've been croaking and humming since we were tadpoles," explains Hamish. "We began with the odd gig down the local aquarium, then we graduated to more, er, prestigious venues - boating lakes, swimming pools etc."
The talented trio - actually they were a quartet at the time but fourth member Steve the Frog mysteriously disappeared only days after the opening of Marcel's French Bistro on Finchley High Road - first came to the attention of Fab Macca last year. The Frogettes were playing an open-air free festival (in Greenpeace) at a Sussex duckpond near the McCartney home. Also on the bill were Spawndau Ballet, Howard Toads and Barry Manilow. Macca, impressed by their "energy and commitment", invited them along to "do do a session" and the single was born.
So what was it like working with a living legend?
"You mean Rupert the Bear?" croaks Hamish.
No, no, no. We mean Paul McCartney.
"OK," shrugs Hamish, "but we don't just want to do novelty records. Our tastes are a bit more, er, radical than Paul's."
What does he mean exactly?
Hamish scowls. "Every year three million frogs are slaughtered and their legs amputated for the eating pleasure of the bourgeoisie," replies Hamish, hopping mad by this point. "The tragic death of our brother really brought this home."
Hamish wipes a tear from his eye, warns "Bitz" to expect something a bit more "hard-hitting" for their next single and hops off home to the luxury Finchley fish tank the brothers have just bought with their royalties.
There goes a frog who does not mince his croaks.
Twirling back down the years to the 1980s, the "Style Decade", is such a pleasure. Want to know what to eat? How to furnish your micro bijou home or penthouse flat? Take a seat and enjoy the show - courtesy of mid-1980s Habitat and others!
Do eat nouvelle cuisine. Such a lovely, yuppie fad! Spitting Image described it as "an expensive way of not having very much to eat". Wasn't it WONDERFUL?! Also, employ lots of '80s speak in your conversation. "Tubular!", "Wicked!", "Gnarly!" Call your friends "mateyboots" and always remember to say "purlease".
Transform your study area, 1980s style! The colours here are so conducive to concentration, I'm surprised they ever went out of fashion!
Computers began entering the home in the 1980s and they were provided for. Remember how trendy black was as a furnishing colour? Even tellys went black eventually.
Pose about in your lounge in pink trousers and fondle your hi-fi. Looking faintly minimalist here.
Invest in lovely lantern light shades and install a pendant over your dining table. Place a warning sign proclaiming "Gesticulation Prohibited" over said dining table before guests arrive as entanglement with pendant may ensue. It is, of course, highly desirable to be known for giving memorable dinner parties. But electrocutions are probably best avoided.
Just look at these! Even plugs went all bright and jazzy in the 1980s!
"Individuality - being what you want to be - until tomorrow..." and what better way to make a statement than by spray painting your lounge suite with your own '80s style daubings? Glorious, is it not? We love Habitat!
Ah, the children! The next generation! Our hope for the future! Ensuring their well-being was, of course, one of the top priorities of the 1980s. And what better way to care for them than by providing a nice, restful decor and furnishings for their bedrooms, like this red metal tube bunkbed?
And for your bedtime? How about these gorgeous quilts and pillow cases? The epitome of 1980s chic!
Bonce feeling a bit chilly? Buy a pillow case with inbuilt night cap and you'll be oh-so-cosy! And oh-so-stylish. Lucky you! Night, night!
We haven't finished yet! Tomorrow's another day. Lots more on living life '80s style soon! xxx
So excited to read that Sorry, I'm A Stranger Here Myself, the Thames TV comedy written by David Firth and Peter Tilbury (now mainly remembered for Shelley and It Takes A Worried Man), which ran for two series in 1981 and 1982, is coming to DVD in March this year. It's the tale of poor, henpecked Henry, who is left his uncle's house in the fictitious English Midland's town of Stackley, and escapes his ghastly wife to return to the scene of his formative years. Unfortunately, the Stackley of 1981/1982 is not the Stackley Henry so fondly recalls, hence the title - Sorry, I'm A Stranger Here Myself.
Punk rocker Alex is squatting in Henry's house, Asian Mumtaz is running the corner shop, and there is a militant union shop steward living next door!
This is a very witty portrayal of the 1980s as they were before the yuppies, before the brick-sized mobile phones, before the explosion of creative energy brought to television by Channel 4, before the credit boom, before the huge shoulder pads. A 1980s where the Rubik's Cube and CB radio are huge crazes, New Romantics are the current pop sensation, Charles is marrying Di, and inner city riots are erupting.
The stars were Robin Bailey, Christopher Fulford, David Hargreaves, Diana Rayworth and Nadim Sawalha.
I ate this series with a big spoon. Can't wait to see the DVD and write a full review!
Georgina asks:
What is that material draped across the foreground of the photo of your 1980s bedroom?
Ah, Georgina, t'was my coat - my Snorkel Parka, no less!
It's 1985 and I'm wearing my "academic look" for a sporting event with some very "classy" friends. I suppose nowadays my attire might be classified as "geek chic", but in the mid-1980s I had discovered that fitting the clothes to the occasion was terribly important. Look at that magnificent '80s middle class golfers' jumper. Wow, eh? I wore the snorkel parka to the event because I'd spilt tomato ketchup down my shoulder-padded grey jacket and it was at the dry cleaners! Faces have been blanked out to protect the innocent. And me.
In the early-to-mid 1980s, the Snorkel Parka was everywhere. Those heavy weather coats with orange innards and hoods with fur trims weren't really fashion statements. In fact, they were mainly the sort of thing that mothers bought for schoolboys. My mother bought me mine as a Christmas present in 1983, which was after I'd left school, but the garment was practical - it DID keep the weather out - so I used it for day-to-day living - slouching around the supermarket, etc. You'll see loads of them if you look at media from the early-to-mid 1980s. But, around 1986, they faded away quite rapidly. That's when I chucked mine out. I recently watched an episode of Coronation Street from the mid-1980s in which sticky-beak character Percy Sugden was wearing a Snorkel P. Perhaps that had something to do with their rapid demise?
Below, I've reproduced the photograph of "The Pit" - AKA my mid-1980s bedroom, with points of interest clearly tagged.
Happy days! Below is a range of snorkel parkas as featured in the Freemans 1981 Spring and Summer mail order catalogue. £11.50?!! Daylight robbery! And that boy on the right with the fancy briefcase! What a flash git! At my school, we took our books to school in a Budgens or Co-op bag.
Lovely 1980s Cadbury's Wispa chocolate bar (read our article on Wispa here), with bar code and sticky price label. 18p! And they were even cheaper if you bought them from a supermarket. I haven't seen any sticky little price labels on anything for ages. The bar code, making a determined onslaught in the 1980s, began turning those friendly (sometimes!) folks with the pricing guns, trotting around the supermarket aisles, into an endangered species.
The 1980s saw huge technological changes erupting into our lives - the arrivals of various early and hugely influential computers, the first commercial computer mouse and mobile phones, satellite TV, Microsoft Windows, the compact disc, the C5 car (OK, not a great hit), the UK's first debit card - which sent plastic money into the ascendancy... plus, VCRs (you could always rent if you couldn't buy) and microwave ovens were also hitting the mainstream... yep, the decade positively crackled with electrically charged change.
And this was reflected in the shops, too. Slowly at first, the bar code began to make its presence felt. Sainsbury's, for instance, installed its first bar code scanning tills in 1982, and gradually these were rolled out throughout its stores. A great friend of mine who worked at a large Sainsbury's store out in the sticks in the mid-1980s, told me the story of the scanner tills arrival at her store:
"The beeping noise drove us all bats at first - and you could hear it in your head when you got home at night. I think it was louder with the early tills. Of course, now we take it as a part of everyday life, but I got married in 1986, shortly after the new tills arrived at the store I worked at, and I remember, on my honeymoon, thinking I heard a beep in the hotel bedroom at a very, well... to avoid being crude I'll call it a very 'romantic' moment. I think I was a bit befuddled with wine, because I interrupted proceedings to ask my new hubby: 'Was that a beep?' Good job he worked at Sainsbury's too, because he understood perfectly!"
Johnny Ball's Think Box, 1982. Look - no bar code!
Incidentally, I was a great bookworm, and found the arrival of bar codes on book covers in the early 1980s positively hideous. I loved (and still do love) books, and bar codes printed on the back of each new purchase looked ugly and alien to me. And, at that time, I couldn't understand just what purpose they could have! Of course, the bar codes needed to be in place on merchandise before shops could invest in the equipment to use them.
Weetabix box from 1987, featuring one of the Weetabix skinheads in trendy hip hop garb doing a spot of breaking. The cereal was fifty-six pence way back then (sell-by date Aug '87) and the box has both price label and bar code (the bar code was on the other end). Until supermarkets were equipped with scanner tills, the pricing gun continued to be an essential tool. This particular purchase was made at a small Sainsbury's store and, whilst the supermarket chain installed its first bar code scanners in 1982, it would seem that by 1987 this particular store was still without them.
"Vorsprung durch Technik" - what?!! Apparently, it means something along the lines of "advancement through technology" in German, and has long been the slogan of the Audi company. In 1984, the slogan achieved fame here in England, with actor Geoffrey Palmer telling viewers that an Audi 100 was needed if the Germans were to be beaten in the race for the swimming pool. "Vorsprung durch Technik, as they say in Germany," said Mr Palmer in droll posh English tones, and it rapidly became one of the ad catchphrases of the mid-to-late decade.
Mr Palmer, already a TV favourite (remember him in Butterflies?), now had a new claim to fame.
The idea to use the "Vorsprung durch Technik" slogan in English language Audi ads came about when Sir John Hegarty, of the Bartle Bogle Hegarty advertising agency, visited the Audi factory in 1982.
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