The Secret Diary Of An Adrian Moler (aged 20 and one month)...

The Secret Diary Of Adrian Mole Aged 13 ¾ by Sue Townsend was published in October 1982, and the paperback edition in October 1983. The sequel, The Growing Pains Of Adrian Mole, followed in 1984.

Back in the early 1980s, I determinedly donned a donkey jacket. The height of fashion. "It was like it was nailed to your back, even at the height of summer!" said a nasty old relative of mine recently.

This was "dressing down" to the max.

But, slowly but surely, the influence of the New Romantics and posey TV shows of the decade began to impinge upon my dullard brain, and so I got dressy.

And I loved it.

I was the original 1980s fashion victim - and a cerise mesh vest, neon blue jacket with colossal shoulders, and skin tight banana yellow trousers were amongst my very favourite things to combat nakedness.

In the mid-1980s, I became a care worker and there was a chic which went with that - a nice lumberjack shirt, or what I called a "wholemeal" jumper (boring brown, un-startling pattern) and maroon trousers were so suitable for this role.

I looked comforting. Dependable. The right look was so important for everything I did.

And when the optician said I needed glasses, I chose a nice, stylish pair and gloated over how they added to my safe, dependable look for work - and how they also gave me an academic air.

I didn't wear for them nights out, they didn't go with my Miami Vice chic, but for my work/daytime chic they were so fabulous.

In the mid-1980s, there were all kinds of chics.

A slight unease began when I visited my GP to have my ears syringed in late 1985, about three weeks after getting my glasses.

There were two nice old ladies in the waiting room - the sort of old ladies you don't see nowadays - both wearing hats - both reminiscing about the Second World War.

The receptionist indicated that doc was ready to see me, and as I made my way to his consulting room door, one of the old ladies twittered:

"Doesn't he look almost exactly like Adrian Mole?!"

I turned, incredulously, to see both old ladies were looking at me.

"Oh, did you hear me?" asked the one that had spoken.

"Yes!" I was furious, and glowered at her.

Without a word of apology, the old dear turned to her pal, and both tittered.

Reflecting that the elderly were not what they were, I went into the doctor.

A few days later, I emerged from my flat, on the way to the Co-op for Weetabix and spuds. A bloke fixing the exterior light of the flat next door turned to me, grinned broadly, gave me a huge thumbs up, and said:

"Hi, Adrian!"

I gave him an icy glare and swept past him.

I was getting worried. I knew who Adrian Mole was, had seen the books by Sue Townsend, and some of the TV series episodes starring Gian Sammarco, and I knew there was a resemblance between me and this character when I wore my goggles.

But surely not that much?!

Christmas arrived - and a family Christmas party. I went straight from work, knowing that I was safe in my glasses as none of my loving kinfolk would ever take the P.

Two of my cousins stepped forward, with gaily wrapped pressies.

These two cousins had never given me presents before ever - and I'd known them all my life.

I was touched.

I opened the first. It was a book.

It was The Secret Diary Of Adrian Mole Aged 13 ¾.

I opened the second.

It was another book - The Growing Pains Of Adrian Mole.

"Thought you might like them, seeing as you wrote them," said one of my dear cousins.

I was startled.

I was stung.

"You bloody little gits!" I spat, and stalked off.

I was growing very unhappy indeed.

In Miami Vice chic night-time mode, without my glasses, I looked nothing like Adrian Mole, but by day...

Things came to a head a few days later, when, strolling down the main street after work, I was suddenly mobbed by a group of about nine lads, who came galloping across the road, looking thrilled to bits, and squawking: "ADRIAN MOLER! ADRIAN MOLER!"

They were big and beefy lads, and I was terrified.

One clapped me ferociously on the back, the others stood around bellowing: "WOTCHA, ADRIAN!" "HI, AIDY!!" "WOT YOU UP TO, ADRIAN?" and other things like that.

Trembling with fear, I moved off, with "der lads" shouting after me: "BYE, AIDY!!" "SEE YA, ADRIAN!!" and "HEY - ADRIAN - GIVE MY LOVE TO PANDORA!"

Back in the safety of my flat, I gathered my wits.

Adrian Moler? Sounded like "Greaser".

Did these lads actually think that I'd set out to look like Adrian Mole? That I was effecting a kind of Adrian Mole chic?

Off came the glasses.

And I never wore them again.

And, not being confident with the contact lens concept, I simply let my eyes go hang.

Something I regret because I now have to wear glasses - it's an absolute necessity.

Anything beyond arm's length is a complete blur.

Of course, these days I'm fond of Adrian. The daft lad with the literary pretensions who started his first diary in January 1981 has grown up and I'm very worried about him - having just read The Prostrate Years.

But there was a time, in the mid-1980s, during my unwitting Adrian Moler period, that I couldn't stick the little prat.

In recent years, I thought that Harry Potter, as portrayed in the films, looked like Adrian Mole as portrayed in the '80s TV series.

But nobody gave him any stick about it.

Life is so unfair.

Read our main Adrian Mole '80s Actual article here.

The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13¾

"TV Times", 21-27 September 1985...

How did Sue Townsend become the best selling author of the 1980s? How did a spotty adolescent schoolboy from Leicester become a hero of page and screen?

Well, a character called Nigel Mole, a year older than Adrian, but also a teenage diary keeper and created by Ms Townsend, made his debut in July 1980 at a writers' group meeting at the Phoenix Arts Centre, Leicester.

The part of Nigel was played by actor Nigel Bennett, who had asked Sue Townsend if she had anything he could use for an audition for Huckleberry Finn.

Mr Bennett was impressed with the character of Nigel Mole, and and began work on adapting Ms Townsend's script for a one man show.

In October 1980, Nigel Mole made it into print for the very first time when a Leicester arts magazine, which was soon to fold, published extracts from Nigel's diary, freshly rewritten by Sue Townsend, using the title Excerpts from The Secret Diary of Nigel Mole Aged 14 ¾.

Janet Fillingham, Sue Townsend's theatrical agent, advised her to expand on the Mole theme, and sent a Nigel Mole monologue to BBC Birmingham. The BBC rejected the play but, unknown to Sue Townsend, Nigel Bennett had submitted his Mole audition piece to John Tydeman, Assistant Head of Radio Drama at Broadcasting House.

In March 1981, Mr Tydeman commissioned a thirty-minute radio script based on the diary of Nigel Mole. In September 1981, Janet Fillingham sent a copy of the completed radio script to Geoffrey Strachan, Managing Director of Methuen, suggesting that the script had the potential to be made into a book. Strachan agreed and during early 1982 Sue Townsend worked on the manuscript.

In November 1981, young actor Nicholas Barnes, exactly the same age as Nigel Mole (now a year younger at 13¾), recorded the Thirty Minute Theatre piece for BBC Radio 4.

Broadcast on 2 January 1982, The Diary of Nigel Mole Aged 13 ¾ proved to be a great success, prompting John Tydeman to commission a radio series adapted from the forthcoming book. However, Geoffrey Strachan was concerned that the name of Nigel Mole was too close to that of Geoffrey Willans' Down with Skool character, Nigel Molesworth. Nigel briefly became Malcolm Mole, but Sue Townsend, remembering the Vicks nasal spray TV ad, was not happy with the name. Darius and Marius were toyed with, then Adrian burst forth.

Sue Townsend found the adjustment difficult. She wrote to Geoffrey Strachan: “Are you absolutely dead set against 'Nigel Mole'? I am suffering severe withdrawal symptoms. I have lived closely with Nigel for a couple of years and Adrian can’t take his place. I've tried to accommodate him but failed.”

But the fates positively beamed upon Ms Townsend, despite her trauma over the name change. The book - The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole Aged 13 ¾ - was sent to Methuen in instalments in the April and May of 1982 and published in the October.

And it went straight into The Sunday Times best sellers list.

This book and its sequel, The Growing Pains of Adrian Mole, earned Sue Townsend the truly glittering prize of becoming best selling author of the 1980s.

Midway through the decade, the telly beckoned...

Mountains Out Of Mole Hills

TV Times, 31 Aug - 6 Sep 1985:

The laughter continues on ITV with the "The Secret Diary of Adrian Mole", Aged 13 ¾, which begins in two weeks. The series is based on the gloriously funny book by Sue Townsend, which has already been translated into 17 languages, including Japanese, Russian and Serbo-Croat, and is now selling by the million. So its popularity with viewers seems certain.

Adrian Mole is a worrier. He worries about his mother (is SHE worrying too much about Mr Lucas next door?). He worries about his diet (is he getting enough vitamin C?). He worries about his acne (or maybe it's lassa fever), about the girl he worships (Pandora), about how he's going to pay protection money, and about sex. It is his age, probably.

Thames Television auditioned over a hundred boys for the part of A Mole (13 3/4) before choosing 14-year-old Gian Sammarco, a Northampton schoolboy. In contrast, over 500 girls were tried out for Pandora. Young Lindsey Stagg, also from Northampton, won the role.

As for the adults, they are some of the finest names in British comedy acting, including Beryl Reid and Julie Walters.

A great feature of the series was Ian Dury singing the theme tune - Profoundly In Love With Pandora.

The "Sun", 1986 - Julie Walters has vacated the role of Pauline Mole, so Lulu steps in...
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The '80s adolescent (and beyond) agonies of Adrian were greatly appreciated, both on page and screen. And several follow-ups since have ensured that we have been able to follow his progress from lad to man. I was slightly older than Adrian, but still very much of the same era and found a lot of Ms Townsend's insights into how some of us young lads were back then rather uncanny.
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Here's a choice snippet from True Confessions of Adrian Albert Mole (1989), which could almost (but not quite, thank God) be an extract from one of my own early diaries - poetic, angst-ridden little... er... soul that I was:

In my desperation I went to the Lake District on the train. I was struck down by the beauty of the place, although saddened to find that there were no daffodils flashing in my outer eye as in William Wordsworth the old Lake poet. I asked an ancient country yokel why there were no daffodils about. He said, "It's July, lad". I repeated loudly and clearly, (because he was obviously a halfwit) "Yes I know that, but why are there no daffodils about?"

"It's July," he roared. At that point I left the poor deranged soul. It's sad that nothing can be done for such pathetic geriatric cases...

And to end on, this heart-rending poem for Pandora Braithwaite, the great love of Adrian's life:

Pandora,

I am but young

I am but small

(with cratered skin)

YET!

hear my call

x

If you haven't met Adrian yet, hurry along there...

And read about my horrific experiences as an unwitting Mole clone here...