Back To A 1980s Christmas - Part 1...

This 1986 men's cardigan sums up a lot about why I love 1980s fashion. We men were free to wear nice colours without people making assumptions about our sexuality. Being a straight peacock, I was in my element. The cardie is, of course, suitable for Christmas wear too. I'll be wearing it this year, actually.

"I have a picture. Pinned to my wall. An image of you and of me and we're laughing with love at it all..."

Those were the days. When shoulder pads came in dinner plate sizes - complete with velcro, when jelly shoes were a wow, when Rubik's ruled, when Christmas was Christmas...

Well, it was too comercialised, of course. But then, I was born in 1965 and it's been said that Christmas is too comercialised for as long as I can remember.

But at least most shops were closed on Boxing Day.

And there was no greedy rumpus on Black Friday. In fact, we'd never even heard of Black Friday. 

Here is the start of a little series of posts that will bring the 1980s Christmas back to life...

Enjoy...

Of course, in the 1980s, not all political parties were the same and the old Labour Party was vehemently anti-Tory, not merely the same thing (but less honest and sometimes worse) under a different name. In those days it was politics, not "The X-Factor" or ipods that occupied a lot of our thoughts. Here's a 1984 Labour Party Christmas card, with a privatised Santa selling toys on the street - complete with Rubik's Cube, of course...

Here's that strange, stuttering computer-animated bloke Max Headroom. He'd joined forces with the Art of Noise (remember "Paranoimia"?) and had brief chart success. Here's an unusual jigsaw promo from Chrysalis records. Relax. You're quite safe here...

Now, this was an excellent stocking filler. Ever since the arrival of the Sony Walkman in 1980, cassettes had been growing in popularity (although the compact disc arrived a little later in the 1980s, they were pretty expensive) and so the WH Smith cleaning cassette was a must for many of us. Keep those tape heads clean, and you might avoid having your tapes eaten by your machine.

Here's a lovely WH Smith personal stereo - complete with a radio. So you could listen to Steve Wright In The Afternoon or Our Tune on the move, then slot in the Thompson Twins. Swingorilliant!

Ah, 1981! Lovely radio cassettes, a digital clock radio, and a "phonesitter". Eh? Kind of answer phone thingy. Not cheap. And not at all common. But the 1980s saw the answer phone becoming more and more prevelant.

We end this first 2015 visit to the 1980s Christmas with a last bit of sauce (probably cranberry) from the dear-departed Labour Party. The spirit of protest was strong... the two humans seem to have got their placards jumbled, but the turkey knows what it's doing...

Max Headroom

Super weird TV presenter Max Headroom... Now what was all that about? I found the lowdown on Mr Headroom in a magazine article from May 1985...

"When we suggested a computer instead of a human being as a TV presenter, Channel 4 were DELIGHTED. A computer! No hangovers, no union disputes, no gossip column stories... and NO SALARY! It seemed so perfect. Nobody could have foreseen the trouble we'd have with him..."

Peter Wagg is the producer of the "Max Headroom Show" (Saturdays, 6.00pm) - Channel 4's newest pop video programme, a collection of 'the best of the new and the old' videos, linked by a bizarre stuttering character who's apparently part machine, part human being. Is he really a computer copy of a human brain? Is he a man with make-up? Is he just a puppet tarted up with a bit of computer graphics?

"Max is all those things," says Peter Wagg darkly, "and more..."

In fact his creators refuse to divulge how he works. "A trade secret," they say. "He's a series of techniques joined together."

They claim instead that Max was first created from the brain of super-sleuth journalist Eddison Carter and rescued from the corrupt Network 23. He was simply glad to be alive and of some small use to his rescuers. But Max has taken to media stardom like a duck to water, and Peter Wagg is afraid that it has turned his head...

"He really is very difficult. All we want him to do is be jolly on the telly and introduce the videos. But he's rather political and keeps getting digs in that aren't in the script. And he's so VAIN."

But intial reaction to the "Max Headroom Show" has proved too favourable for his creators to pull the plug on him now and, if Max gets his way, his show will soon be shown all over the world.

"It's world domination or nothing now," says Peter Wagg, sadly. "I'm afraid we've created a monster."

PERSONAL FILE ON MAX HEADROOM

Name: Maximum Headroom 2.3m

Born: In Finchley, North London.

Starsign: Vegetarian.

What would you do if you weren't a TV presenter? Kill myself.

First record ever bought: "Digital Watch Tunes Volume 2", by Bronco

Are you going out with anyone? Come come now. We hardly know each other! Just get on and do the interview. 'They' want me to say that I'm happily married and in love with my wife. Hah!

Have you ever had a supernatural experience? I ate a Big Mac once without taking it out of the box...

Best thing about being a celebrity: Being invited on the "Terry Wogan Show".

Worst thing about being a celebrity: Meeting Terry Wogan.

What's in your pockets? My pockets? No they're definitely not 'in'.